An Unexpected Party Guest

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Frasier (Kelsey Grammer): Murderers on death row can find women to marry them! I can't find one to sit through coffee with me!

Niles (David Hyde Pierce): It's easy for those men to attract women. They have all that time to work out in the yard.

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Perhaps the worst–kept secret on the Frasier show was the fact that the Crane brothers, Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) and Niles (David Hyde Pierce), led star–crossed love lives — except that, unlike Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, it didn't apply merely to one lover but to all.

Not so with Roz (Peri Gilpin). She had a very active love life — and, in the episode that first aired on this night in 1998, "Life of the Party," Roz's sex life had caught up to her.

It had been established earlier in the Frasier timeline that Roz was pregnant. It was on this night 20 years ago that Roz's baby made her first appearance.

The occasion was a singles–only party that Niles and Frasier were throwing at Niles' place. It had been suggested by their father Martin (John Mahoney). When he was young, he told his sons, he and his buddies threw such parties — frequently — when they were hard up for dates.

At first Niles and Frasier weren't too keen on the idea — but then Martin announced that he had a new 10,000–piece jigsaw puzzle called "The Wheatfield." The brothers suddenly became more open to the idea.

Martin was one of the attendees, but, acting on Daphne's advice (Jane Leeves), he had dyed his hair to appear younger — and was under the impression that his efforts were succeeding.

But then at the party, the dye job began to drip, and Martin left a large stain on one of Niles' chairs.

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Turned out Martin had used shoe polish instead of hair dye.

As far as Niles and Frasier were concerned, the party had had its desired effect, and both had met someone they wanted to date. Trouble was that it was the same person.

So they spent much of the episode vying for this woman's attention.

But then things were interrupted because Roz went into labor — right there in the middle of the party — and the Cranes took her to the hospital. As they sat in the waiting room, they bickered — stopping only to wish Roz the best as the hospital staff wheeled her to the delivery room. As soon as she disappeared, the bickering resumed.

Then when the delivery was over, they went into Roz's room to see the baby.

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The baby, Roz told them, would be named Alice — and Alice would be a fixture on Frasier in the years to come.

Niles and Daphne's First Date

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Everyone knew that Niles (David Hyde Pierce) was infatuated with Daphne (Jane Leeves).

Well, everyone, that is, except Daphne.

In the early seasons of Frasier, Niles' efforts to be close to Daphne were largely treated as unfulfilled fantasies since he was married to the never–seen Maris. But by this point in the series, his marriage was effectively (but not legally) over.

And in the episode that first aired on this night in 1998 — "First Date" — Niles had decided to ask Daphne out for the first time. They had already had some dates, you might say, but they weren't treated as such — just as occasions when they found themselves alone together.

In this episode, though, Niles was determined to ask Daphne on a formal date — but when the moment of truth arrived, he simply couldn't do it.

But he spoke about it endlessly with Frasier (Kelsey Grammer), and Daphne walked in on them a few times, which made Niles antsy about what she had heard and hadn't heard. Turned out that she had heard that Niles wanted to ask someone out, but she didn't hear who.

Whether he was bashful or simply conditioned by years of unrequited love, Niles probably would have been happy to let the matter slide — but Daphne kept pressing him to confide his secret crush — and he seemed about to oblige on several occasions.

That was something he could not bring himself to do, though, no matter how much he wanted to date Daphne.

In the end, though, he pretended to be attracted to a woman in his building, and Daphne urged him to ask her for a date. When she wouldn't give up, Niles decided to fake it to satisfy her. He told Daphne he knew this woman's work number and pretended to call her — but he really called his home number and spoke into the answering machine.

The dinner date he made was for that evening — but, of course, there was no dinner date, and the next thing the audience saw was Niles lounging in his home wearing his bathrobe. Daphne came by, explaining that she had been running some errands and picked up something for dessert. She took it to the kitchen, intending to put it in the refrigerator, but she was stopped in her tracks when she saw that no dinner preparations were underway.

So she took charge, fashioning a dinner from items she found in Niles' refrigerator, believing that he was going to be hosting an evening meal for a woman with whom he was in love — when, in fact, Daphne was the woman of Niles' dreams.

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One of the best scenes in this — or any — Frasier episode came when Niles and Daphne were chopping vegetables for the salad. After observing that they were chopping in rhythm, Niles began singing "Heart and Soul" in time with their chopping.

That, of course, had multiple meanings. For Niles, it was a description of his reality. For Daphne, it was a pleasant song — but probably nothing more.

In the end, Niles invited Daphne to stay and have dinner with him — and their first date really was a date after all.

An Electoral Experiment

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A city councilman seeking a fourth term in office paid a visit to Cheers on this night in 1993 in an attempt to win some votes. It infuriated Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) because, where the other patrons heard inspiring statements, Frasier heard meaningless politician's rhetoric.

And an idea was born in this episode of Cheers! — "Woody Gets an Election." "We could put a chimpanzee on the ballot and garner 10% of the vote," Frasier insisted.

Apparently, no chimpanzee was available so Frasier did the next best thing. He recruited Woody (Woody Harrelson) to run for city council and made a bet with Sam (Ted Danson) that all he had to do was put Woody's face on a poster above a phrase that sounded good (the phrase that appeared on the posters was "He's one of us") but essentially meant nothing and, by Election Day, he would get 10% of the vote.

Frasier also decided to use the campaign as a case study for a paper.

Part of the experiment, of course, involved interviews with the local media. Only a few months before she became a regular on the Frasier spinoff, Peri Gilpin made a guest appearance as a political reporter who came by the bar to interview Woody.

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The interview was like something out of "Being There." Farm boy Woody kept answering the questions from a farmer's perspective, and the reporter put her own preconceived interpretations on his answers.

It didn't take long for Frasier to win the bet. Polls showed Woody receiving 8% in advance of the election, and Sam conceded. Frasier figured he could take down the posters and end the charade.

But then the news broke that Woody's opponent, the incumbent who was seeking a fourth term, had been charged with public drunkenness. Suddenly, the folks at Cheers believed Woody could win.

In fact, Frasier believed it so deeply that he was plagued by nightmares in which Woody had a meteoric political career that landed him in the White House, where he fired nuclear bombs.

And he implored Woody to drop out of the race before he made a mockery of the democratic process. Woody pledged to do so at the Election Eve debate — but his intentions were sidetracked when his wife Kelly (Jackie Swanson) informed him on camera that he was going to be a father.

And the victory was sealed.

On election night, Woody kept thanking Frasier for getting him started, but Frasier, still thinking of his harrowing mushroom cloud dreams, insisted that "no one can prove that."

The opening segment of the episode featured a guest — Spanky McFarland of "Our Gang" fame. Know–it–all Cliff (John Ratzenberger) spotted him sitting at the far end of the bar and told Norm (George Wendt) that he believed the man was Spanky. Cliff sauntered over to him and began talking, in his blowhard fashion, about his love for "Our Gang."

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Apparently, that was all Spanky needed. When Cliff asked him if he was Spanky, he denied it, and Cliff left the bar.

"You are Spanky, aren't you?" Norm asked him.

"Oh, yeah," Spanky replied.

That was Spanky's final public appearance. He died a couple of months later.

That Uncontrollable Urge

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"I'm not condemning you for your little 'fling,' but don't try to pass it off as something deeper than it is; the only thing you two have in common is the faint impression of the word Sealy on your backsides."

Niles (David Hyde Pierce)

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In the episode of Frasier that first aired on this night in 1998, "Frasier Gotta Have It," Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) was excited about a new relationship he had with Caitlin (Lisa Edelstein), a young artist.

They didn't seem to have much in common beyond the physical, and Niles (David Hyde Pierce) enjoyed teasing his brother about that.

Frasier, however, did not like being teased, and he kept insisting there was much more to it than the physical — even though he confessed that, when they met, he and Caitlin had not discussed whether she was a native of Seattle, the school she had attended or her preferences in the arts.

In an attempt to learn more about her, Frasier invited her to dinner. When she arrived, there still was no indication that the relationship was anything more than physical as the two fell into each other's arms and shared a long, passionate kiss.

Did they share more than that? Well, Niles speculated that, at that moment, they were sharing a Tic Tac.

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Frasier did learn a few things about Caitlin that evening that he hadn't known.

For example, he learned that Caitlin's father owned a vineyard when she was growing up so she had more than a casual knowledge of wine.

She wasn't a wine drinker, though. She told Frasier and Niles that she had always hated the taste of wine. In fact, she said, she had cut alcohol out of her life altogether — along with sugar, dairy products and meat.

That put a considerable dent in Frasier's planned menu for the evening.

Frasier also learned — to his chagrin — that Caitlin thought Martin's chair was cool. Frasier, of course, thought it was hideous.

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But he didn't let that get in the way. If anything, the physical relationship grew hotter. When Frasier went over to Caitlin's place to break things off, he got swept away with lust, and the two fell into bed with each other.

In fact, the finicky, fastidious Frasier overlooked many things in Caitlin that would have been (and often were) dealbreakers in his other relationships. Why? Because, in his own words, he was a sexaholic.

And strictly physical infatuations blind people to things that normally would matter to them.

Frasier certainly wasn't immune to that.

One of the things that I thought made the episode intriguing was the fact that Dan Butler, who ordinarily played Bulldog Briscoe, a notorious womanizer from KACL, directed it. It wasn't unusual for cast members, particularly Grammer, to direct episodes, and I don't know if this was Butler's only directorial effort on Frasier — but considering the character he usually played, it was an interesting topic.

Punishing a Bad Dog

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Frasier Crane (Kelsey Grammer) was a vain, elitist, pompous snob, but he also had morals and standards, and they were on full display in the episode of Frasier that first aired on this night in 1998, "Bad Dog."

As the episode opened, Frasier and Bob "Bulldog" Briscoe (Dan Butler), the radio station's sports personality, were standing in line to get coffee at Cafe Nervosa. Roz (Peri Gilpin) came in and got in line behind them.

Shortly thereafter, a man with a gun tried to rob the cafe. Frasier saw the gun and warned the others. Bulldog saw someone reaching into his coat, assumed he was going for a gun and grabbed Roz, pulling her in front of him as a human shield. The movement knocked over Bulldog's coffee, which spilled on the real gunman's hand. He dropped the gun and ran out the door.

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In the flurry of activity, nearly everyone thought Bulldog had committed an act of heroism — when, as Frasier knew, he had actually tried to use a pregnant woman as a shield. The more credit that Bulldog got for what everyone thought he had done, the more it got under Frasier's skin.

For example, the owner of the cafe promised Bulldog a lifetime supply of muffins, which got Daphne (Jane Leeves) to musing about how many muffins that might be. She said she could eat a muffin a day, even two some days, and figured that, at 10 muffins a week over 40 years, it came to about 20,000 muffins.

"My life suddenly seems long, measured in muffins," she said.

"Oh, Daphne," Frasier said. "There are a lot of things that can make life suddenly seem long."

Back to Bulldog.

Frasier confronted Bulldog at the radio station with the truth, and Bulldog asked him not to tell anyone. Frasier promised that he wouldn't because he believed that Bulldog's conscience wouldn't let him keep that secret.

The problem was that Bulldog apparently had no conscience, and that was what really bothered Frasier.

"I believe that conscience, more than customs and laws, is what prevents people from doing wrong," Frasier told his father Martin (John Mahoney) and brother Niles (David Hyde Pierce). "To contemplate the idea of an otherwise sane man with no conscience, well, it just shakes my entire world view."

Frasier's world view took quite a beating when he went to Bulldog's apartment — and was disappointed to see that Bulldog wasn't struggling with his conscience. In fact, Bulldog said he believed he had been born without a conscience.

Frasier refused to accept that — and insisted that Bulldog's conscience would not permit him to accept the Man of the Year Award that he was to be given for his heroism.

And Frasier, who was the emcee of that year's broadcasting awards, did everything he could to make it difficult for Bulldog. He arranged for several guests from Bulldog's past to be in attendance — his boyhood priest, his second–grade teacher, his peewee football coach and the young president of Bulldog's fan club. The most important guest, though, was Bulldog's mother.

Frasier had assembled them to subtly remind Bulldog that they had all encouraged him to be honest. He hoped that Bulldog would break down during his acceptance speech.

But Bulldog double–crossed him, and it looked like he would get away with it.

Well, it looked that way, and Frasier was beside himself. But as Bulldog and his mother walked across the floor to his table, Martin called out to Bulldog, "There's a guy there with a gun!"

And Bulldog grabbed his mother and used her as a shield, just as he had done with Roz at the cafe — exposing himself as a fraud.

"Thanks, Dad," Frasier said with a big smile on his face.

"Hey, I'm no hero," Martin said. "I just wanted you to shut up!"

The Seemingly Fruitless Search for a Flaw

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Niles (David Hyde Pierce): How's it going?

Frasier (Kelsey Grammer): Well, let me see, what have you missed? Clint told us about how he learned to fly a plane, and then he recited a sonnet and, oh yes, he fixed my ice machine and he invented a new drink — the "Pink Webber." I've got Daphne drawing a bath right now; in case the party starts to lag, we can invite him to walk on water, liven things up a bit.

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Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) was an elitist snob who was not accustomed to being second banana to anyone.

But on this night in 1998 — in the Frasier episode "The Perfect Guy" — the perfect guy came into the radio station, and Frasier couldn't handle it.

The perfect guy was named Dr. Clint Webber (Bill Campbell), and he had just been hired to host a new program on health issues. Frasier thought he would give the new guy a boost by having him appear on Frasier's program — but it was obvious that Clint needed no one's help. It seemed there was nothing he could not do.

Initially, Frasier tried to act as if he genuinely liked Clint, but he soon gave in to his jealousy and actively looked for a weakness that he could exploit when he hosted a party to welcome Clint to the radio station.

It wasn't easy to find a weakness. Clint didn't seem to have one. Whereas Frasier went to Harvard, Clint went to Oxford — and before taking on the challenge of medical school, he got his master's in French history because he "just wanted to do something fun." He spoke fluent French — and, as the viewers learned during Frasier's party, he also spoke Mandarin.

Frasier tried to regain some of his lost status by saying that he, too, had taken some time off before beginning medical school and had spent the summer studying Italian opera. He took the opportunity to do some name dropping, suggesting that he had become acquainted with Spanish tenor Jose Carerras during that time. Clint, it turned out, was Carerras' godson.

Clint was a flawless cook, having worked his way through school as sous–chef in Paris; at Frasier's party he invented a drink that was a smash hit with the guests.

It was all very taxing on Frasier, and he complained about it to Niles (David Hyde Pierce).

"Don't let it make you crazy," Niles counseled his brother. "At some point we all run into someone who's our superior."

"Oh, it's just that I've never dealt with this sort of thing before," Frasier replied.

"Never?" Niles asked incredulously.

"I can see how that could be baffling to you," Frasier said. "As my younger brother, you've dealt with this sort of thing all your life."

"At least we know he won't outshine you in the egomania department," Niles replied.

And, although Clint didn't play chess — he claimed to have a read a book or two on the topic — he managed to spoil a game Frasier had been playing by mail with a Russian grandmaster. You see, Clint was able to anticipate the outcome after observing the chess board for only a minute or two — and the outcome wasn't going to be good for Frasier.

"Wasn't that a fun eight months?" Frasier remarked.

Frasier had just about given up on finding a weakness in Clint when one presented itself. The man couldn't sing — yet he insisted on singing to the assembled guests. Frasier agreed, then sought Niles to gloat over his discovery.

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"The man is completely tone deaf," Frasier said. "He's about to launch into a rendition of 'Isn't It Romantic' that will simply peel the enamel from your teeth."

Niles tried to persuade Frasier not to let Clint embarrass himself — until he learned that Daphne (Jane Leeves) was smitten with Clint and wanted to give him her phone number. Then he was all too happy to accompany Clint on the piano.

And Frasier walked smugly through the room filled with guests, reminding them that "Nobody's perfect."

It was a satisfying conclusion for anyone who has ever been in Frasier's shoes — which means all but a select few (although usually it is a Frasier type who is the cause of the anxiety).

As Woody Allen once said, "If life were only like this."

Hooked on Caviar

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"It's like being kissed by a lusty mermaid!"

Niles (David Hyde Pierce) after sampling caviar

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When I was growing up, I only heard the word addiction in connection with substances that weren't supposed to be good for you — and were probably (but not always) illegal to boot.

But as I got older I learned that there are all kinds of addictions to things that are not necessarily good for you but are generally not illegal, either.

At least, in most instances.

In the episode of Frasier that first aired on this night in 2003, "Roe to Perdition," the substance in question was Beluga caviar, which is the world's most expensive caviar. A couple of years before this episode aired, Beluga caviar sold for up to $4,500 a pound.

(Beluga caviar is harvested from Beluga sturgeon, which are found primarily in the Caspian Sea. Beluga sturgeon are endangered, which led the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to ban the importation of Beluga caviar in 2005. That made this episode somewhat prescient, I suppose.)

Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) and Niles (David Hyde Pierce) were planning a party and wanted something spiffy to serve. They spotted a display of Beluga caviar at their favorite gourmet foods store and concluded that was what they needed — until they discovered it was selling for $100 an ounce.

"Isn't that rather a lot to pay?" Frasier wanted to know.

"To you, yes," the shopkeeper replied in a heavy French accent. "To the fish who gave up her life so you could spread her unborn children on a cracker, it's not so much."

At that point, a somewhat unsavory–looking individual approached the Cranes and told them that the Russian mafia was in control of the caviar market. He further claimed that he could provide Beluga caviar for much lower prices; after sampling his product, the Cranes were in.

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But Frasier, who claimed to be a good judge of character, didn't want this man to know where he lived so he arranged for Roz (Peri Gilpin) to pick up the caviar and bring it to his apartment, which she did, although she insisted that caviar wasn't anything special — until she tried the Beluga caviar.

Then she was hooked. And she was happy to act as Frasier's mule if she could get a cut.

That became an impossibility when the connection informed the Cranes that he could no longer help them. Their ever–larger orders were attracting unwanted attention. This was bad news for the Cranes, who had been sprinting up the Seattle social ladder by supplying the city's elite with Beluga caviar and needed five more pounds. The supplier gave them all he could, but it was nowhere near five pounds.

It was crushing news for Roz, but Frasier assured her that he could make one more score, having recalled the name of the ship the contact had mentioned.

When Frasier and Niles got to the ship, they were able to make a deal for five pounds of Beluga caviar, but the transaction was interrupted by a raid by U.S. Customs. Frasier and Niles tried to eat the evidence, but they barely put a dent in it before a Customs officer burst on the scene. As it turned out, though, they weren't looking for caviar. They were looking for bootleg DVDs.

Frasier always had a side story — which didn't always have anything to do with the main story. In this episode, the two had nothing in common, really, but I enjoyed the side story all the same.

It seems that Martin (John Mahoney) had some trouble with the ATM at his bank. When he tried to withdraw $20, it gave him $60 instead. He was pleased with his windfall — until Daphne (Jane Leeves) insisted that he return the money to the bank.

That was when his troubles really began.

At first, he tried to call the bank's helpline, but it was automated and kept giving him the runaround. After that, he tried to go to the bank itself. The people at the bank kept acting as if he had tried to make a deposit when he was actually trying to return excess money that had been given to him by the ATM, and they kept offering him more money. It got so bad that, at one point, Martin tried to speak a bit too forcefully to a teller, was mistaken for a robber and had a gun pulled on him by the security guard.

That led to the bank president making the same false assumption that the others had made and offered Martin a settlement in exchange for taking no legal steps. The settlement included the deposit of $10,000 in Martin's account — plus the $40 from the original mistake.

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"Is there anything else we can do for you?" the bank president asked.

"Could I open an account?" Daphne wanted to know.

Frasier and the Unhappy Couple

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"Just once it would be nice if we could have a family gathering where no one leaves in an ambulance. Am I right?"

Aunt Zora (Patti LuPone)

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Patti LuPone will always be remembered for her extensive Broadway career, but she gave an Emmy–nominated performance on Frasier in "Beware of Greeks," the episode that first aired on this night in 1998.

LuPone played Zora, the mother of Frasier's cousin, who was about to be married. She was a Crane by marriage, having married the brother of Frasier's father Martin (John Mahoney). To her dismay, Frasier had counseled her son Nikos (Joseph Will) when he was trying to decide on his career path. Frasier told him to follow his heart so he skipped medical school (his parents' preference) to pursue his passion — street juggling.

Zora didn't like that, and she blackballed Frasier and his side of the family, a fact that bothered Martin, who desperately wanted to be reunited with his brother after an estrangement of five years. It also meant that Frasier knew nothing about Nikos' approaching nuptials.

When Frasier learned that Nikos was getting married, he decided it was the right time to mend the rift with Zora so he paid her a visit at her Greek restaurant and patched things up. Among other things, he promised never to meddle in Nikos' life again.

But when Martin was reunited with his brother, their conversation was less than stimulating:

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Walt: Marty.

Martin: Walt.

Walt: What's new?

Martin: Oh, same old, same old. How's tricks?

Walt: Can't complain. They keeping you busy?

Martin: Oooh, better believe it.

Walt: Well, what are you going to do?

Martin: Tell me about it.

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Nikos' fiancée was from an affluent family, which pleased Nikos' mother. But the fiancée's motive for marrying Nikos was to get even with her parents for personal grudges, and Frasier realized that Nikos was still in love with his ex–girlfriend, who was also a juggler. But he had promised not to interfere.

So Frasier arranged for the ex to come to the wedding rehearsal dinner, where he could let nature take its course and she could be reunited with Nikos. That, of course, made both of them very happy.

It also made the snobby parents of the now ex–fiancée happy, too. They had been decidedly glum up to that point.

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But it didn't please Zora — and she knew who to blame. The reconciliation was over — and Martin and Walt knew they wouldn't see each other again for awhile.

Lust in a Winter Wonderland

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Niles (David Hyde Pierce): I grant you she's comely, but don't you find her a tad — what would the polite euphemism be? — stupid?

Frasier (Kelsey Grammer): Niles, she is just unschooled, like Liza Doolittle. Find her the right Henry Higgins, she'll be ready for a ball in no time!

Niles: Leave it to you to put the "pig" back in "Pygmalion."

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In the episode of Frasier that made its debut on this night in 1998, "The Ski Lodge," Roz (Peri Gilpin) won a weekend in a mountain ski lodge in a church raffle and traded it to Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) for a big–screen TV because Roz was pregnant and couldn't do much at a ski lodge except sit in front of a fire and stare out the window.

Niles (David Hyde Pierce), whose divorce was meandering through the system, wanted to go to the lodge if Daphne (Jane Leeves) was going to be there. But Daphne had agreed to spend the weekend with her friend Annie (Cynthia Lamontagne) because it was her birthday, and Annie had been lonely and depressed.

Daphne wanted to bring Annie along to the ski lodge. Frasier wasn't too keen on the idea — until he learned that Annie was a swimsuit model. After that he couldn't wait to get her up to that lodge.

What followed was a comedy of mistaken identity worthy of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream" — except it was set in winter and it was no dream. Well, if it was a dream, it was more like a nightmare for all concerned.

Including the Olympic ski instructor (played by James Patrick Stuart) whose services were included in the prize.

Daphne had the hots for the ski instructor — who, it turned out, was gay and fancied Niles. Niles, of course, was infatuated with Daphne, and Annie was steamed up over Niles.

Lonely Frasier wanted Annie, and no one wanted Frasier — which he acknowledged at the end of the episode.

In short, everyone wanted someone he/she couldn't have, and the drama played out from bedroom to bedroom.

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The writing, as usual, was top notch.

Most of the confusion in the story stemmed from Martin's (John Mahoney) hearing problem. He'd been suffering from a cold that had stopped up his ears. Because of that, he misunderstood questions and said things that led to confusion about who was attracted to who.

In one particularly delightful dialogue exchange, Frasier stumbled onto the ski instructor, naked in one of the beds. He had misunderstood something Martin had said, taking it to mean that Niles was gay, too.

"You're not the Crane I want," the ski instructor protested.

"You're not even the sex I want," Frasier retorted.

As one might expect, there were numerous double entendres

When Frasier first brought up the topic of the ski weekend, Daphne mused about "skiing all weekend, then warming up with a nice hot rum drink curled up under a blanket in front of a roaring fire."

"I can feel the steam rising off my toddy already," Niles said.

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What was less clear was who would be warming up together.

It was no clearer when the episode ended.

The Best Laid Party Plans ...

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Early in the 2002–2003 season of the Frasier series, Niles (David Hyde Pierce) and Daphne (Jane Leeves) finally tied the knot, and subsequent episodes examined their trials and tribulations as newlyweds.

But the episode that first aired on this night in 2003, "Daphne Does Dinner," was a real milestone in their relationship.

They decided to throw a dinner party.

Now, that is the kind of thing that couples, both married and unmarried, do all the time. Sometimes the parties are small, intimate, informal gatherings, and sometimes they are lavish productions. The Crane brothers, of course, leaned heavily toward the latter, and they had extensive experience, having successfully co–hosted numerous parties over the years.

But they seemed to have lost their touch. As the episode opened, guests were storming out of Frasier's apartment, and Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) and Niles were wondering why their parties were disasters.

Niles owned a painting by a reclusive Seattle artist that he was going to donate to a museum. Frasier suggested throwing a farewell dinner party for it, assuming that he and Niles would be co–hosting the event as always.

But Daphne thought it was time for her to co–host such parties with Niles.

So that is what she suggested to Niles, who acquiesced.

This represented an unusual twist for the series. Ordinarily, Niles or Frasier would be the one who was overwhelmed. In this case, it was Daphne who found herself being buried in problems.

She arranged for the party to be catered, but the Cornish game hens caught fire when Daphne was heating them, and Roz's daughter scrawled her name in crayon on the painting.

Daphne tiptoed deftly through that minefield. She sent Roz (Peri Gilpin) to an art restorer who could fix the painting, and she called Frasier for help with the food, and he agreed — even though, as she told Roz, Frasier's nose was still out of joint over being displaced as "lord mayor of Party Town."

Everything seemed to be under control when the guests began to arrive — and one of the guests was the artist himself. He had not been inclined to go until his gallery insisted that he attend.

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He took a shine to Daphne's mother, and the two of them went upstairs to watch a boxing match on pay–per–view while the rest of the guests mingled downstairs.

But then, on top of everything else, Niles' father (the recently deceased John Mahoney) was mistaken for the artist — so Niles had to shuffle him out quickly. Poor Martin was only there to bring some ramekins to Frasier, but the description of the artist (white hair, plaid shirt, sweater and cane) was spot on for Martin. It was an honest mistake.

Things went from bad to worse until, finally, Daphne's mother and the artist came crashing down into the living room. They had been engaging in some apparently spirited interactivity on the bed where all the guests' coats were piled — presumably between rounds.

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The party was over.

At that point, Frasier walked over to Daphne and put his arm around her. "Congratulations," he said. "You're now officially a Crane." Daphne burst into tears.

It wasn't the best Frasier episode, but it was far from the worst.

The Perfect Fit

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Lilith (Bebe Neuwirth): I mapped out our dominant and recessive traits on a genome square, applied Mendel's laws, allowed for anomalies and concluded that you are the best biological choice.

Frasier (Kelsey Grammer): I see. Well, as enticed as I am by your honeyed words, I'm gonna need some kissin'.

---

In the episode of Frasier that first aired 15 years ago tonight, "Lilith Needs a Favor," Frasier's ex–wife Lilith (Bebe Neuwirth) made the long flight from Boston to Seattle to ask for a special favor.

She had a delightful in–flight conversation with her seatmate in which she mentioned that she was going to Seattle to ask a favor. Her seatmate was going to Seattle in pursuit of a job. Their conversation began with a discussion of how both were unusually pale.

"My ex–wife used to say she could tell when I was embarrassed," Lilith's seatmate said, "because I'd turn off–white."

Lilith was yearning to be a mother again. Their son was almost grown, and she was overcome by a wave of nostalgia for the days when he was a baby. She craved the feeling of being wanted and needed.

So she came to Frasier hoping to get him to contribute some sperm that she could take back with her. She wanted their son to have a full sibling and, being the woman of science that she was, Lilith had subjected the matter to numerous tests and concluded Frasier was the best choice to father her child.

Frasier, though, was resistant and asked for time to think about it. Lilith agreed to let him think about it and give her the answer at dinner the next night.

He had some questions, too. Would he and Lilith have to sleep together? Lilith said no. She wanted to freeze his sperm.

That opened the door for jokes at Lilith's expense.

"Is that a yes or a no?" Frasier asked.

Frasier was inclined not to agree to Lilith's request — for some pretty valid reasons. But he allowed emotion to overcome reason when he had dinner with Lilith, and she evoked memories of their son when he was little.

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So off they went to the clinic, where Frasier was to provide a sperm sample that Lilith would take home with her. But Lilith kept kibitzing, offering advice on the proper mental state for making such a contribution.

Finally, Frasier had had enough. "If there is one thing I can do by myself," he insisted from behind a closed door, "this is it!"

In the end, though, they couldn't avoid the truth. Lilith was trying to recapture the past, and, as Frasier observed, "The past can be very seductive." Nevertheless, he also observed, "You can't use the past to fill what's missing in the present." In one way or another, we all do that, don't we? It's good advice to give but not so easy to follow.

Lilith resisted, however, saying that it "it feels right to me." But it wasn't right for Frasier.

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So Lilith flew back to Boston — and found herself seated next to the same seatmate she had on the flight to Seattle. It turned out both their trips had been disappointing. His job prospect wasn't a good fit.

But the seeds of a possibly productive partnership were sown on the flight home.

The Point of No Return

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"Maris and I are back on the expressway to love. Well, if not the expressway, at least the on–ramp."

Niles (David Hyde Pierce)

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Love — or at least lust — was truly in the air in the episode of Frasier that first aired on this night 20 years ago.

Long before Frasier's first season was over, everyone knew that Niles (David Hyde Pierce) was infatuated with Daphne (Jane Leeves). Well, everyone knew but Daphne.

At the same time, though, Niles just as clearly wanted to save his troubled marriage to the never–seen but frequently mentioned Maris. During one of their coffees in the first season, Niles and Frasier discussed this very thing, and Frasier mused that what Niles wanted was to remain with Maris but have an affair with Daphne. Niles brightened noticeably at the thought.

The series was roughly at its midpoint in 1998, and it was probably obvious to everyone but Niles that his marriage could not be saved.

He kept trying, though, and in the episode that aired on this night in 1998, "The Maris Counselor," Niles and Maris were seeking marriage counseling under the guidance of a new therapist, Dr. Schenkman (Bob Dishy). Niles was excited and anticipated a rekindling of their love.

Since Niles had recently identified his primary problem as being too predictable, he decided to show Maris how spontaneous he could be by surprising her for an afternoon of passion.

But that wasn't quite how it worked out.

Martin Crane (John Mahoney) was experiencing a shift in his love life as well. A lady in the building in whom Martin had shown an interest gave him a call and invited him to dinner.

For once, the romantic developments did not involve Frasier (Kelsey Grammer). He was primarily a bystander in this episode.

Well, it was Niles who was surprised when he discovered that Schenkman was having an affair with Maris — and Schenkman was at the house at the time. They bumped into each other in the bedroom. Apparently the therapist had had the same inspiration for a little afternoon delight, in the words of the old song. Schenkman was wearing a pair of Niles' pajamas when he encountered the cuckolded spouse.

"Damn you, I trusted you because you were supposed to be helping us," Niles told Schenkman. "And I liked you, too, you bastard. You betrayed my confidence and my friendship, and you seduced my wife."

"Wow," Schenkman replied. "There's a lot of new issues here, aren't there? Think maybe we should kick it up to three sessions a week?

Niles and Frasier were to lead a couples workshop later that day. Niles was late getting there, what with his confrontation with Schenkman, then was morose with the group as Maris' infidelity weighed heavily on his mind. Under the guise of role playing, Frasier tried to persuade the group that Niles was empathizing. He didn't succeed.

Meanwhile, Martin had his dinner date, which didn't turn out exactly the way he planned. Turned out that his date wasn't the attractive tenant after all. It was her 86–year–old mother.

The date didn't go so well. Martin was, apparently, a perfect gentleman, but his date couldn't remember his name and kept dozing off.

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Back at Frasier's apartment Frasier tried to console Niles, and the three compared their love lives.

Frasier said he deserved the crown for failed relationships — "Divorced twice, left at the altar once."

Martin differed. His relationship with Sherry fizzled and then his dinner date had been a flop. "I think maybe I deserve the booby prize."

Niles said he could top them both. "Fifteen years with Maris," he said, "I end up in bed with her lover." Niles insisted it had been an accident, that he had thought he was in bed with Maris.

"What tipped you off?" Frasier asked.

"The heat from her side of the bed!" Niles replied.

Therapists have their place, but sometimes a person is his/her own best therapist.

The Grass Is Always Greener

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Frasier (Kelsey Grammer): This is heaven, right here and now. Why do we have to think about someplace else?

Niles (David Hyde Pierce): This is only heaven for the people who can't get into the real heaven. The platinum heaven.

---

In the last years of the Frasier series' run, Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) had an ongoing feud with a neighbor (Brian Stokes Mitchell) that I found tedious.

I know some people who liked those episodes, and I concede that it was an intriguing twist for the series. Cam Winston (the neighbor) was very much like Frasier in his temperament, his preferences, his mannerisms, just about everything, and the two were competitive over everything — like parking spaces and American flag displays.

In fact, the only real difference between the two was race — Frasier was white, and Cam was black — but I don't recall that angle ever being mentioned even though the rivalry was the basis of some episodes in the series' ninth season.

As I say I found those episodes tiresome for the most part, but there was one episode that I enjoyed in which Cam played a role. It was "Door Jam," which first aired on this night in 2003.

Yes, Cam did play a role in that episode — but he wasn't seen in it. In fact, he had made his last on–screen appearance in the series the year before this episode aired.

As part of the settlement resolving their feud, Cam and Frasier had agreed to swap mailboxes. The taller Cam was better suited for Frasier's top–shelf mailbox while Frasier could access Cam's lower box easier.

But mail delivery didn't exactly keep up with the changes. In "Door Jam," an invitation addressed to Cam from a mysterious new exclusive business was left in Frasier's box by mistake. Frasier and Niles (David Hyde Pierce) were intrigued because, being the elitist snobs that they were, they expected to be in the loop when anything exclusive surfaced in Seattle.

And neither could recall ever hearing about this business — which made them even more curious about it.

What did it do? The Crane brothers came up with some sneaky ways to find out, ignoring their father's suggestion to call the place and ask.

But even when they wound up taking the direct approach, it didn't yield the answer they sought because they weren't on the master list — so Niles had to pose as Cam, whose name was on the list, to get them in.

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The employees of the business were discouraged from giving out information or allowing access to anyone who wasn't on The List. But, having established that as the company's policy, they were far too trusting. Not at all the kind of diligent gatekeepers one would expect. Niles was able to acquire that information and access merely by saying he was Cam. He didn't have to provide any supporting documents, like a driver's license, for example.

And their cover could easily have been blown several times during their stay as Frasier repeatedly addressed Niles by his real name within earshot of the employees.

The brothers were pleased to discover that the business was a day spa, and they were happy with the results — until they learned that there was a higher level than the one in which they had spent the afternoon, and Cam's name wasn't on that list. Consequently, the Cranes couldn't access it, and that really annoyed them.

Suddenly the pampering with which they had been so delighted was vastly inferior to what they imagined could be found at the gold level.

Then, once they had finagled their way into the gold level (with Roz's help), they immediately began lusting after what they believed to be a platinum level.

But it wasn't.

The employees urged them to stay where they were, telling them they were not allowed beyond that other door, but the Cranes ignored them. When they went through that door, they found the spa's garbage dumpster on the other side — and the orange honey–butter mask that had been applied to Niles' face was attracting bees.

It wasn't the grass that was green on the other side of that door.

Home Away From Homeland

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"Roz is like one of the guys. She knows more dirty jokes than Duke."

Martin (John Mahoney)

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Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) was well acquainted with the need for a watering hole where one could go — and everyone would know your name and they were always glad you came. He had spent several years frequenting Cheers! before leaving Boston to return to his hometown of Seattle.

His father's physical therapist, Daphne (Jane Leeves), had come to the U.S. from England and had been feeling homesick when she discovered such a watering hole, called the Fox and Whistle, that catered to Britons in the Seattle area.

So, naturally, when Frasier's social life was, as the saying goes, in the pits, Daphne decided to share her secret getaway with him. Frasier tried to join his father (John Mahoney) and Roz (Peri Gilpin) in playing cards, but it quickly became apparent that wasn't the answer, and Daphne took pity on him. She told him she was meeting a lonely friend of hers, and they might hit it off. Frasier, after reminding Daphne of his policy against blind dates, nevertheless agreed to go when he learned that Daphne's friend was an underwear model.

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Daphne's friend, as it turned out, had just become engaged; Daphne thought that would be it for Frasier, but she didn't count on him taking such a shine to the place. When she emerged from the ladies' room with her friend, she found Frasier singing a spirited version of "Beer Barrel Polka" with the rest of the bar's patrons.

Before long Frasier was going to the pub every night, and Daphne was feeling like her space had been invaded. The bar, after all, was where she went to get away from her work and home life.

And when she presented it that way to Frasier, he understood. He recalled the bar in Boston and the void it had filled in his life, and he graciously offered to bow out, conceding that Daphne had a history there whereas he had only been coming there for a couple of weeks.

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Frasier (Kelsey Grammer): You've got to be careful what you bring down to the pub with you.

Daphne (Jane Leeves): Tell me about it.

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Then it turned out that Daphne really didn't have such an extensive history at the pub after all. She had only been coming there for a few weeks more (or a fortnight, one of the English words Frasier was all too eager to embrace) launching a battle over the bar.

They decided to settle it with a game of darts, which Daphne lost. In the process, though, Frasier made some uncomplimentary remarks about Britons and the Motherland and was run out of the bar by the patrons.

So Frasier skulked back to the cafe, where he found Niles (David Hyde Pierce) drinking a cup of coffee. Earlier Frasier had slighted Niles, and Niles could hardly wait to gloat by asking if "it's over over there."

He already knew the answer.

I always thought one of the nice touches of this episode was how it opened and ended with vignettes featuring prep–school versions of Frasier and Niles bickering as brothers do but in their peculiarly elitist and snobby way — demonstrating that some things (and people) don't change.

Spreading Christmas Cheer

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Oh, joy. Christmas Eve. By this time tomorrow, millions of Americans, knee deep in tinsel and wrapping paper, will utter those heartfelt words, "Is this all I got?"

Frasier Crane (Kelsey Grammer)

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On this night in 1987, Cheers! was in its sixth season — about midway through its run. The characters' quirks had been established even though some of the original characters were gone and some new ones were in the cast.

Rebecca (Kirstie Alley) had replaced Diane (Shelley Long), and Woody (Woody Harrelson) had replaced Coach (Nicholas Colasanto). Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) and Lilith (Bebe Neuwirth) had been added.

On this night in 1987, it was Christmas Eve in the Cheers! universe — and everyone was distracted by things that were sure to exaggerate each character's quirk.

Cliff (John Ratzenberger) was obsessed with a postmen's canned food drive in which the winner would receive a trip to Disney World. He brought a big cardboard box to the bar and encouraged everyone to drop off cans.

Rebecca, the bar's manager for its new corporate owner, told the bar staffers that they had to work Christmas Eve. Carla (Rhea Perlman) had no problem with that. Neither did Woody, who had decided not to visit his family in Indiana during the holidays because he was participating in a Christmas play in Boston (even though he admitted missing his mother's "bone–dry" stuffing).

But Sam (Ted Danson) did. He considered a "holiday eve" a holiday.

Nevertheless all the Cheers! employees worked on Christmas Eve — and found themselves waiting to close the near–empty bar that night while one lone patron sat slowly nursing a drink. As they waited they decided to do their gift exchange — which was when Sam realized he had no gift for Rebecca, and he rushed out into the night hoping against hope he could find a store that was still open.

He couldn't — but he stumbled upon a lovely young lady carrying some shopping bags. When he explained his predicament to her, she offered to let him buy one of the items among her purchases. He picked a pair of earmuffs — and made a date with her for later when he learned that her shopping bags also contained intimate apparel.

Same old Sammy.

Norm was working a part–time gig as a department store Santa. On Christmas Eve he brought all his buddies from Santa School to the bar after the stores closed.

When the staffers exchanged gifts, it turned out that Sam had picked up the wrong package. Instead of earmuffs, he had given Rebecca diamond earrings.

After some initial resistance, Rebecca agreed to accept them, forcing Sam to spend much more than he had anticipated — but he thought it would pay off when Rebecca invited him to her place after work for a late dinner.

Then he learned that it would not be the one–on–one evening he expected. Everyone at Cheers! had been invited!

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The episode ended on the same note with which it began — with everyone watching yet another airing of "It's a Wonderful Life" on a local TV station that was apparently showing it all month in the station's "It's a Wonderful Month" promotion.

Even Frasier (Kelsey Grammer), who had a decidedly Scrooge–like attitude, got choked up.

The Stressful Season

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Frasier (Kelsey Grammer): I want my gifts to be remembered and cherished long after the holidays.

Martin (John Mahoney): Well, you know, nothing is cherished quite so much as the gift of laughter.

Frasier: If you want that highway patrol bloopers tape, you'll have to buy it yourself.

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It is well known that the holidays, however much we may love them, bring a lot of stress to our lives.

In "Perspectives on Christmas," the episode of Frasier that first aired on this night in 1997, the members of the Crane family — including extended family members Roz (Peri Gilpin) and Daphne (Jane Leeves) — told a masseur about their stressful Christmases.

Mind you, it was the same Christmas, but each one had a unique way of perceiving the events of the previous few days, and it really began with Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) establishing the fact that he wanted his Christmas gifts that year to be memorable. He kept emphasizing that point through the episode.

Martin (John Mahoney) had agreed to participate in a church Christmas pageant and had been struggling with a high note in his rehearsals of "O Holy Night." But he didn't want Daphne to know as she had been inquisitive enough as it was.

Daphne, meanwhile, knew something was up — but she wasn't sure what. She put two and two together — while walking the dog, he had started to go toward the church "like he assumed that was where we were going," and Daphne misinterpreted some things she overheard — and concluded that Martin was dying.

In this case two plus two equaled five, but Daphne still stressed out over what she thought she knew.

Niles (David Hyde Pierce) got stuck on the elevator in Frasier's building with some of the residents, and it fell to him to go through the trapdoor in the ceiling where he would find a lever that would open the elevator door. Except for the occasions when he and Frasier played squash, Niles was hardly a physical person, but he climbed an unadorned Christmas tree to reach the trapdoor. In Niles' definition of the term, that must have qualified as heroic.

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Well, that is what he did, but afterward when he looked down through the trapdoor, the other occupants of the elevator were nowhere to be found and nothing was there but the tree. So Niles, clad in a new silk suit that was susceptible to tree sap, tried to climb back down the tree.

It was a rough descent, to be sure. Viewers didn't see much, but they could surmise a lot from what they heard — and what they could see when a disheveled and grimy Niles staggered into Frasier's apartment. Daphne mentioned Niles' entrance to the masseur, but she lacked the context that Niles' story provided.

That rings so true, doesn't it? It seems no one else is ever as aware of someone's trials and tribulations as the person who is directly affected. If for example someone is late to work because of a flat tire, that person's account of the morning is likely to center on that — and perhaps not so much on the complete absence of a co–worker, an absence that could be explained by any one of several much more serious circumstances.

The last tale was introduced by a detail that Niles gave — of Roz coming to the door, snarling "Merry Christmas" to Frasier and throwing a Christmas package on the floor. The sound of shattering glass left little doubt about the package's contents.

It had recently been revealed on the show that Roz was pregnant, but she had not yet informed her mother, who lived in Wisconsin but was coming to Seattle to visit her daughter during the holidays. Roz was stressed out over how to break the news to her mother — and she had been putting on some pregnancy pounds.

Frasier, though, had already spilled the beans. When Frasier and Roz were at the cafe, a call from Roz's mother was forwarded to Frasier's cell phone. She wanted to go over the details of her flight time with Roz. After Roz went to the counter to place her order, Frasier cautioned Roz's mom that Roz had been out of sorts because of picking up some pregnancy pounds. He urged her to be careful what she said to Roz, not realizing that Roz hadn't broken the news to her mother yet.

Roz was still stressing over how to tell her mother that she was pregnant when she and Frasier prepared to be Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus at a charity event. That was when she learned that Frasier had let the cat out of the bag.

And she was furious.

That package she smashed on Frasier's floor contained champagne glasses.

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Anyway, when it was obvious that everyone had been through an enormously stressful holiday period, Frasier decided to give them his Christmas presents on Christmas Eve — he intended to take each one aside and tell them all how much they meant to him.

When that was met with an extremely negative response, Frasier quickly offered to have a masseur work on each one — and that was greeted with much more enthusiasm.

And that was where the whole holiday tale was told — on the massage table.

Life's Rich Pageant

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In "Rooms With a View," the episode of Frasier that first aired on this night in 2002, Niles (David Hyde Pierce) had been brought to the hospital for heart surgery — an event that had been set up nicely by the previous week's episode (in which the audience was introduced to a rarely discussed medical concept called referred pain).

Having spent more time in hospital rooms than I care to think about, I enjoyed this episode for its satirical treatment of the topic. The opening segment, in which the family was waiting with Niles for his surgeon to arrive to go over the procedure with them, was hilarious.

Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) had beaten the surgeon to it. He had researched Niles' condition, put his findings on paper and made copies for everyone. That was his way of coping. In another episode, Frasier had bragged about his lifelong prowess at homework. This proved it as far as he was concerned.

(Frasier made sure that everyone — especially the surgeon — knew he had consulted with a colleague from his alma mater, Harvard.)

Martin (John Mahoney), on the other hand, was engaged in his typical response to a medical crisis — denial. It was what he had been doing as long as Niles and Frasier could remember — pretending the problem didn't exist.

"Things always turned out all right, though," Frasier told Niles. "They will this time, too."

Daphne (Jane Leeves) was simply terrified. Nothing would reassure her until Niles was out of surgery — although Roz (Peri Gilpin) tried her best to be reassuring, suggesting things like thinking about fun things to do (like take a trip somewhere) when it was all over.

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But it was the next segment, in which Niles was being wheeled to the operating room, that gave the episode its name — and poignancy. Under the strong influence of hospital–administered drugs, Niles imagined moments from his past that had been spent in hospitals.

Like the time he was in the hospital with a broken leg, suffered when Frasier allegedly pushed him down the stairs (although Niles confessed that he hadn't been pushed; he had jumped because he wanted to fly like a Valkyrie). Niles recalled the scene in his hospital room when Martin brought him an Archie comic book to help him pass the time.

And the time he visited a heavily bandaged Maris following plastic surgery.

And the moment that had just occurred seconds earlier — when Daphne promised Niles she would be waiting for him when he came out of surgery.

In a few minutes, Frasier displayed the kinds of moments that hospital personnel have probably seen countless times.

But one of the best moments was one Niles couldn't possibly have remembered. It was the scene in his mother's hospital room after she gave birth to him. Neither mother nor baby could be seen — only a young Martin holding a small Frasier.

When Martin told Frasier that was his new brother in the crib next to his mother's bed, Frasier, in a typically honest child's response, replied, "I don't like him."

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While the family was in the waiting room, Frasier remarked on how life was played out within the walls of the hospital. And there is no disputing that. People are born in the hospital, they recover from injuries and illnesses in the hospital — and sometimes they die in the hospital.

For most people that is probably where it all ends. Speaking of which, Martin's hospital flashback concerned the time the doctor shared a dire prognosis for his wife.

It didn't end that way for Niles, though. At least, not yet.

And as she was leaving his room, Daphne walked past another room and had her own flashback — or should that be flash forward? In it were Niles and Daphne — Niles held a small child and Daphne, in her hospital bed, held a newborn.

At the time, Daphne and Niles had been married a short time and had no children yet. The clear implication was that life would go on.

A positive note on which to end the episode.

And Leeves deserved kudos for her performance.

What Happens on Board ...

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Frasier (Kelsey Grammer): Latin singing sensation, Carlos 'the Barracuda' del Gato?

Roz (Peri Gilpin): Don't you remember him from the '70s? He invented that big dance craze, the Barracuda.

Niles (David Hyde Pierce): Believe it or not, Maris was a big fan of his.

Frasier: No.

Niles: Yes, that was the one dance she could do. The Hustle was too strenuous. She had no booty to shake.

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It was common knowledge in the Frasier series that Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) liked rubbing elbows with celebrities.

Ordinarily he had a policy against doing commercial endorsements so when Roz (Peri Gilpin) approached him about an offer from a cruise line — a celebrity entertainer had canceled on a trip to Alaska, and if Frasier would give a lecture on the ship, he and Roz could travel for free — he was hesitant.

Until Roz dropped a few names of well–known folks who had gone on the cruises. Then Frasier was eager to go.

But Frasier's party didn't stop at two. The rest of the family came along as well. Frasier invited his father (John Mahoney) to accompany him — although I believe that must have happened off camera — then he invited Niles (David Hyde Pierce), who was despondent because his estranged wife, the often–mentioned but never truly seen Maris, was skipping town on their anniversary. Niles had hoped they could spark a reconciliation on their anniversary, but that had been taken away. To Switzerland.

So Frasier invited Niles along to help him forget.

Once on board the ship, Frasier discovered that the accommodations were not as lavish as he had been led to believe, and the other celebrities were far from A–listers. The only one the audience saw, other than Frasier, was Carlos "The Barracuda" Del Gato (Miguel Perez) — and he seemed to be primarily interested in Roz.

And then Maris showed up. The audience never saw her, but she was there. She kept sending waiters over to Niles' table to throw glasses of champagne in his face after he fell into the clutches of a man–crazy woman from his country club.

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Apparently Maris had seen them together and concluded that Niles was cheating on her.

And Niles concluded that, if Maris thought Niles was having an affair, she would have one, too, to punish him. The Barracuda appeared to be made to order.

Frasier and Roz set out to talk to Maris, but she wasn't in her stateroom when they got there (they were let in by a maid who assumed they were the guests who were staying in that room). But when Maris arrived and was opening the door, Frasier and Roz slipped into the bathroom.

"Why are we hiding?" Roz wanted to know. "We came here to talk to her."

"Because it's impossible to extol the virtues of trust," Frasier replied, "to someone whose room you've just broken into."

But it turned out to be Martin, who came into the bathroom — sending Frasier and Roz scurrying for the shower, prompting Frasier to exclaim, "The shower is bigger than my entire cabin!"

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Anyway, it turned out that Niles and Maris had begun a reconciliation of sorts. They had taken a stroll on deck and talked things out, and Maris had invited Niles back to her cabin for a glass of champagne.

Niles found Frasier, Martin and Roz hiding in the bathroom — and shooed them away so he and Maris could be alone.

Nothing special to take away from this episode, I suppose. Just one of those episodes that I always enjoy.