Frasier (Kelsey Grammer): Latin singing sensation, Carlos 'the Barracuda' del Gato?
Roz (Peri Gilpin): Don't you remember him from the '70s? He invented that big dance craze, the Barracuda.
Niles (David Hyde Pierce): Believe it or not, Maris was a big fan of his.
Frasier: No.
Niles: Yes, that was the one dance she could do. The Hustle was too strenuous. She had no booty to shake.
It was common knowledge in the Frasier series that Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) liked rubbing elbows with celebrities.
Ordinarily he had a policy against doing commercial endorsements so when Roz (Peri Gilpin) approached him about an offer from a cruise line — a celebrity entertainer had canceled on a trip to Alaska, and if Frasier would give a lecture on the ship, he and Roz could travel for free — he was hesitant.
Until Roz dropped a few names of well–known folks who had gone on the cruises. Then Frasier was eager to go.
But Frasier's party didn't stop at two. The rest of the family came along as well. Frasier invited his father (John Mahoney) to accompany him — although I believe that must have happened off camera — then he invited Niles (David Hyde Pierce), who was despondent because his estranged wife, the often–mentioned but never truly seen Maris, was skipping town on their anniversary. Niles had hoped they could spark a reconciliation on their anniversary, but that had been taken away. To Switzerland.
So Frasier invited Niles along to help him forget.
Once on board the ship, Frasier discovered that the accommodations were not as lavish as he had been led to believe, and the other celebrities were far from A–listers. The only one the audience saw, other than Frasier, was Carlos "The Barracuda" Del Gato (Miguel Perez) — and he seemed to be primarily interested in Roz.
And then Maris showed up. The audience never saw her, but she was there. She kept sending waiters over to Niles' table to throw glasses of champagne in his face after he fell into the clutches of a man–crazy woman from his country club.
Apparently Maris had seen them together and concluded that Niles was cheating on her.
And Niles concluded that, if Maris thought Niles was having an affair, she would have one, too, to punish him. The Barracuda appeared to be made to order.
Frasier and Roz set out to talk to Maris, but she wasn't in her stateroom when they got there (they were let in by a maid who assumed they were the guests who were staying in that room). But when Maris arrived and was opening the door, Frasier and Roz slipped into the bathroom.
"Why are we hiding?" Roz wanted to know. "We came here to talk to her."
"Because it's impossible to extol the virtues of trust," Frasier replied, "to someone whose room you've just broken into."
But it turned out to be Martin, who came into the bathroom — sending Frasier and Roz scurrying for the shower, prompting Frasier to exclaim, "The shower is bigger than my entire cabin!"
Anyway, it turned out that Niles and Maris had begun a reconciliation of sorts. They had taken a stroll on deck and talked things out, and Maris had invited Niles back to her cabin for a glass of champagne.
Niles found Frasier, Martin and Roz hiding in the bathroom — and shooed them away so he and Maris could be alone.
Nothing special to take away from this episode, I suppose. Just one of those episodes that I always enjoy.
