When It Rains, It Pours

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Mary (Mary Tyler Moore): Rhoda, did you ever have one of those days?

Rhoda (Valerie Harper): Yeah, mostly!

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Everyone has a bad day now and then.

It's the most predictable fact of human existence. High hopes and expectations may be rare and will take a beating and go unfulfilled, but bad days are universal for nearly all of us — and occur with a depressing regularity.

There is a small portion of the population that never seems to endure a bad day, but appearances can be deceptive. When those folks do have a bad day, the rest of us take a kind of perverse pleasure in the assurance that no one is immune.

Mary Richards (Mary Tyler Moore) was having three of those days (in her own words) in a single day when the episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show that first aired on this night in 1973, "Put On a Happy Face," began.

Actually, it all started with something small. When the episode began, Mary was drinking coffee and some of it dribbled onto her new sweater. Her date for an upcoming broadcasting awards banquet encountered some difficulties — and ultimately fell through. Then Mr. Grant (Ed Asner) informed her that, instead of disposing of the obsolete file as requested, she had thrown out the file of obituaries that news outlets keep so they will be ready in case someone famous dies.

Make that when someone famous dies.

Because, as Mr. Grant explained to Mary, "There is no 'if.' They're gonna die. We're not gonna have one thing to say except maybe 'So long.'"

(Personal note here: I have never worked in broadcasting, but I have worked for newspapers and a trade magazine, and we had certain files that we kept for future events, like obituaries and such. It was good to have them handy. You never knew when someone prominent was going to die, but, as Mr. Grant observed, you knew they would die one day.

(We didn't have to keep advance obituaries for presidents or anyone else who was nationally prominent. We knew that kind of obituary would be readily available from the wire services. A good example of that is the death a few days ago of Billy Graham. The wire services undoubtedly had his obituary ready for many years — he was, after all, 99 when he died.

(But we needed to be ready when folks who were known locally — like mayors or community activists — passed away.

(I don't remember any files that were specifically designated as "obsolete" in the newsrooms where I have worked — but I suppose there could be such a file that serves as a temporary placeholder for such files. That would be a decision for the management of an individual news outlet to make.

(And, apparently, the folks at WJM had made that decision. Perhaps the responsibility for disposing of obsolete files fell to a different person periodically — that wasn't mentioned — but, in this episode, which is the only time I can recall an obsolete file being mentioned, it was Mary's responsibility.)

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Then when she got home that night, her phone was ringing as she came through the door. She made a mad dash for the phone only to find that the person on the other end had hung up. In the dash for the phone, her bag spilled and her groceries were scattered on the floor.

Rhoda (Valerie Harper) came in, took one look and said, "It looks like somebody mugged Betty Crocker."

But the really big misfortune came when Mary slipped at work and sprained her ankle. To help her ankle when she was back in her apartment, Mary soaked it — which gave her a cold. That made it hard for her to talk on the phone when she was trying to find a date for the banquet.

(That wasn't her only obstacle, though. She had been out of touch with the men she contacted — long enough for one of them to have gotten married in the interim.)

Frustrated, Mary finally gave in and agreed to go out with a guy that Ted (Ted Knight) had been recommending — only to find out that Ted had been speaking of himself.

That was bad enough, but then the dry cleaner ruined the dress she had planned to wear, and she had to turn to Rhoda to get something to wear. Rhoda urged her not to go to the banquet, but Mary insisted that she was nominated for an award and had to go. She didn't expect to win, but it would be bad form not to attend.

So she and Ted went to the banquet. Bad luck continued to follow her. It was raining, which couldn't do much to her hair since her hair dryer gave out on her earlier, but she did step in a puddle, which made her squish when she walked. Then at the banquet one of her false eyelashes came off, and she tried to put it back on while the awards were being handed out.

It was at that very minute that she was announced as the winner of the award for which she had been nominated.

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The first words out of her mouth in her acceptance speech — after a rather loud sneeze — were "I usually look so much better than this."

I guess we all know people who seem to be perfect all the time — and it can be a source of, as I said before, perverse pleasure when such people have to go through the trials and tribulations the rest of us must face.

But Mary was such a pleasant person that it was hard to take any satisfaction from her misfortune.

It was still funny, though, and it remains funny today. Call it a guilty pleasure.

Oh, and by the way, there was a neat little twist at the end that Mary Tyler Moore fans will appreciate.

The usual ending for a Mary Tyler Moore Show episode showed a kitten in the same pose as the old MGM lion.

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But 45 years ago tonight, Mary's face appeared in place of the kitten — and, instead of meowing, Mary stammered "That's all, folks!" like Porky Pig.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

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Rhoda (Valerie Harper): Ben and I aren't getting married — he's not my type.

Phyllis (Cloris Leachman): What do you mean he's not your type? He's witty, he's attractive, he's successful, he's single ...

Rhoda: He's gay!

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Phyllis (Cloris Leachman), the snobby manager of Mary Tyler Moore's building on the Mary Tyler Moore Show, was eagerly anticipating the visit of her adored and musically talented brother (Robert Moore) in the episode that aired on this night in 1973, "My Brother's Keeper." She saw it as an opportunity for him to meet and become interested in Mary.

And when Phyllis saw them together, she became even more convinced that they were meant for each other. They were sophisticated and stylish, just the way she imagined herself to be.

To her great chagrin, though, her brother appeared to be interested in Rhoda (Valerie Harper), whom Phyllis regarded as uncouth and beneath her. These days, I guess Phyllis and Rhoda would be considered frenemies — friendly enemies. But since that portmanteau wasn't in use in those days, I don't know how their status was labeled.

Whatever else it may have been, though, it wasn't a friendly relationship, and Phyllis was shaken by the belief that her brother might hook up with Rhoda. She was so despondent about that prospect that she drove away guests at Mary's party — and Mary's parties already had a reputation for being disasters.

Mary begged Phyllis not to make a scene, and, by Phyllis' standards, she didn't — but her demeanor betrayed her. She was morose and become even gloomier the more she drank.

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Anyway, Phyllis confronted Rhoda about the situation, telling her that she had come to terms with the idea that Ben and Rhoda would end up together, and received a shock.

Her brother was gay.

Now, keep in mind that this was 45 years ago. Homosexuality was rarely mentioned on TV, and when it was, it certainly wasn't treated the way it is today. It was a decade of social change on TV, but gay rights was not on the front burner.

And it was largely because of that fact that the episode sort of limped to its conclusion without making any special point or taking sides. That was understandable. It would take awhile, but the gay community's time to be the topic of national debate would come.

As I understand it, the introduction of homosexuality into the story was not intended to make a political statement or further some kind of agenda.

Actually, as I have heard it told, the gay angle was introduced as a means of preventing Rhoda and Phyllis' brother from becoming a couple. It was also one of the first times that the word gay was used to on TV describe homosexuals.

That would become more commonplace, but at the time it mostly seemed to complicate things because how one defined gay largely depended on the generation of the speaker. Today, if you look up gay in your dictionary, the first definition is likely to be about homosexuality. Half a century ago, a definition of "bright or cheery" most likely was the first.

I don't know if "My Brother's Keeper" influenced that or not.

But, like a steady rain will gradually erode solid surfaces, usually without drawing too much attention, episodes such as the one of the Mary Tyler Moore Show that aired 45 years ago tonight helped pave the way for the emerging gay rights movement.

Self-Image Re-Imagined

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Mary (Mary Tyler Moore): Tell us, Miss Mary Jo Beth Ann Lou, what are some of your favorite hobbies?

Rhoda (Valerie Harper): My favorite hobbies are cheerleading, liking people and living in America.

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In the 1970s Valerie Harper as Rhoda on the Mary Tyler Moore Show was one of the best role models for girls and young women.

The star of the show, Mary Tyler Moore, was portrayed as the epitome of the modern single working woman, but as the associate producer of a local TV newscast, she occupied the elite end of that spectrum. Besides she was beautiful and always wore clothes that accentuated her physical beauty. She was hardly typical of the young women of her generation although she did inspire many to pursue their dreams. She was a pioneer in a male–dominated field, and she was to be commended for accomplishing what she did in a way that was perceived as nonthreatening. But she was not typical.

Rhoda was more representative of modern single working women. She was a window dresser at a department store, and she didn't have a covergirl body although the baggy clothes her character wore made it hard to see that she really was more shapely than viewers were led to believe. A native of the Bronx, Rhoda had a brash way of speaking and a boisterous personality.

That was a lethal combination for Rhoda. People were even less attracted to such a character then than they are today.

Still, Rhoda was a revolutionary character in modern television. She was a role model for all the girls who lived in the real world where imperfections and shortcomings of any kind could be and frequently were obstacles to success. Rhoda seemed to revel in her acceptance of that world and her place in it.

Once, for example, Rhoda was invited to "go downtown and goof on people." She asked what that meant and was told it meant to "walk around, act weird, hope somebody notices."

"That's my life, kid," she replied.

Another time, at a social gathering, Rhoda introduced herself as "another person in the room."

So it was a little disappointing 45 years ago tonight when, in the episode "Rhoda the Beautiful," Rhoda seemed to cave to the segment of the culture that values appearances over everything else, that judges the book's cover, not its content.

In the episode Rhoda had been participating in a weight–loss program and had shed 20 pounds. She looked great, so great in fact that she was chosen to be a contestant in a beauty pageant at the department store where she worked.

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But Rhoda was having a hard time accepting the new and improved version of herself. She had been struggling with weight issues all her life as so many people do. It was part of her personality — and it was a handy excuse when she failed at something. What would she do now?

But to Rhoda's credit, she stayed on her diet. She was in her maintenance phase, which apparently meant continuing to avoid all the things she had been avoiding since going on the diet. That led to one of the funniest scenes in the episode.

Rhoda walked into Mary's apartment while Mary was eating a candy bar. Embarrassed, Mary put the candy bar down, but Rhoda insisted that she finish it. So that is what Mary did — but she soon regretted it because Rhoda asked her questions about it, telling Mary that she had forgotten what chocolate tasted like. So Mary had to describe the candy bar to Rhoda. When she was finished, Rhoda said, "That's the best candy bar I ever watched."

Even as the list of semifinalists for Ms. Hempel was narrowed and Rhoda remained in contention, she continued to put herself down. It annoyed Mary to the point that she chided Rhoda for not allowing herself to enjoy the experience.

"It's not so easy to say nice things about yourself," Rhoda protested, and that was something to which I could certainly relate. I remember on my first newspaper job, one of my first assignments was to write an article about myself, introducing myself to the readers. While I had a list of accomplishments of which I was proud (still am, for that matter), I really struggled with that article. It took me longer to write than any article I've ever written, even the ones that dealt with complex subjects.

Rhoda was right. It isn't easy for many people to speak — or write — about themselves. I guess it seems immodest to most.

There was an element of disappointment there, too, I suppose. When Rhoda became one of the contenders for Ms. Hempel (Hempel's Department Store being where she worked), she had been counting on a negative reaction from Phyllis (Cloris Leachman) as the basis of an excuse for not winning.

But Phyllis threw her a curve, insisting that she was beautiful and an obvious choice for Ms. Hempel.

To Rhoda's great surprise, she won the pageant — and gave hope to the seemingly hopeless.

You know, she might have been a pretty good role model in this episode after all.

A Special Night

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"I just wanted you to know that sometimes I get concerned about being a career woman. I get to thinking my job is too important to me, and I tell myself that the people I work with are just the people I work with and not my family. And last night, I thought, 'What is a family, anyway?' They're just people who make you feel less alone and really loved. And that's what you've done for me. Thank you for being my family."

Mary Tyler Moore

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I think I will always regret the fact that Mary Tyler Moore did not live a few more months.

I had nothing to do with her death, of course. I have no more power over life and death than any other human being, and I completely understand that we all will die someday so I do not lament the fact that she is dead. She was 80 years old, after all.

But I do wish she could have lived until today — the 40th anniversary of the final episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show, which is still one of the best television programs of all time. It just doesn't seem right that she missed this milestone.

The episode was called, appropriately, "The Last Show." That isn't quite as flippant as it sounds. Yes, it was the last episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show — but it was about the last news broadcast at fictional TV station WJM with the familiar crew of Mary, Murray (Gavin MacLeod), Ted (Ted Knight), Sue Ann (Betty White) and Mr. Grant (Ed Asner).

Well, one person would remain at WJM.

The story line was that there was a new station manager (Vincent Gardenia) who wanted to make some dramatic changes. He came to speak to Lou (Ed Asner) to get some input on where to make cuts in the newsroom, and Lou suggested that he should watch the evening news and judge for himself.

Ted (Ted Knight) was certain that this would be the end for him so he began doing everything he could to ingratiate himself to the new boss.

And, apparently, it worked, because the station manager decided to let everyone go — except Ted. For long–time viewers of the show, I guess that was really the only way it could have gone. It made it seem more final — if such a thing is possible.

I guess the last half of the episode was mostly a sentimental journey for the cast and the show's fans. Mary was depressed by the turn of events, and Mr. Grant, in an attempt to raise her spirits, arranged for her old friends Rhoda (Valerie Harper) and Phyllis (Cloris Leachman) to return to Minneapolis for a visit.

Back in the newsroom the inevitable time for goodbyes arrived following the final newscast. That led to a group hug and an oft–imitated exit with the cast marching out of the newsroom singing "It's a Long Way to Tipperary" and Mary peeking back in the newsroom one last time.

The story itself wasn't especially memorable — even though it did reunite Mary with two of the series' early regulars who left the show before Sue Ann and Georgette (Georgia Engel) joined it; thus the final episode was the only time all of the primary characters in the series — the ones I have already mentioned along with news writer Murray Slaughter (Gavin MacLeod) — appeared in the same episode together.

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And when all eight came out and took a curtain call after the episode ended, that was a first as well.

Actually, I don't believe the show's cast ever did a curtain call before — so that was a one–time–only event.

And I am quite sure they never appeared on the same stage at the same time either before or after the night the episode was taped.

It was a special night all the way around.

The Night the Lights Went Out in Minneapolis

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Mary Tyler Moore was notorious in her 1970s sitcom for throwing epically lousy parties. It was a running joke, the kind that all the successful sitcoms have — you know, like Debra Barone's awful cooking or Michael Stivic's insatiable appetite. Or Fibber McGee's closet.

The mere mention of one of Mary's parties would cause eyes to roll and excuses to be made. Each party was worse than the one before, and it wasn't really a matter of being spectacularly bad. The parties generally weren't too bad — until one thing went wrong in a spectacular, only–at–one–of–Mary's–parties way.

That was what happened in the episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show that aired 40 years ago tonight, "Mary's Big Party."

Mary almost always believed that her next party was going to be a game changer for her, and this time was no exception. She was convinced that this party would be the one to change her reputation. After this she was certain that people would want to attend her parties, not avoid them.

A guest at the party was going to be a congresswoman with whom Mary was acquainted. But the congresswoman would not be the main attraction. The congresswoman had a special guest coming into town to M.C. a charity event — Johnny Carson — and she asked Mary to have a small dinner for him so they could be spared the crush of admirers they were sure to encounter at a restaurant.

Mary wouldn't reveal the name of the special guest so everyone in the newsroom came to the party to find out who it was — even though most clearly expected another one of Mary's disastrous parties. When Mary told Mr. Grant (Ed Asner) that this would be a terrific party, he replied, "It better be. I gave up tickets to midget wrestling."

Finally Mary could contain herself no longer, and she spilled the beans. When she did, Mr. Grant conceded that it might be a "fair" party after all.

Mary was feeling triumphant and insisted it was going to be a great party — when the lights started to flicker, and then the apartment was plunged into darkness. The only lights that could be seen were a few lights from a distant building visible through the glass doors leading to Mary's balcony. Apparently the power was out over most of the city.

Mary had a flashlight, but the batteries were dead. And she had candles — somewhere. They were left with no alternative but to talk in the dark. Mary fretted that this would be her worst party ever.

"That's impossible," Mr. Grant said. "You'd really have to go a long way to top some of the bad parties you've had."

And that set up a series of flashbacks to the bad parties in Mary's past.

For Mr. Grant, Mary's worst party had been one that she had thrown with her friend Rhoda (Valerie Harper), and Mary set him up with a blind date who "turned out to be a little old lady."

Sue Ann (Betty White) remembered when the congresswoman attended another one of Mary's parties, and Sue Ann prepared a special veal dish for the occasion — but with just enough for each guest to have a single portion. Then Rhoda showed up with a date (Henry Winkler). He had been one of Rhoda's co–workers, but he had just been fired, and Rhoda couldn't let him be alone when he was feeling so vulnerable.

Feeding him would be a problem with only six portions of the veal and six people already at the party. Rhoda told Mary that her friend could have half of her portion. Problem solved — temporarily.

Then, when Mary was serving the veal, Mr. Grant took three portions — and Mary had to talk him into putting two portions back. Reluctantly he did so, explaining to the other guests that "I'm not as hungry as I thought I was."

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Eventually Mary's special guests did show up. They had been stuck in the elevator when the power went out. They were only liberated after Johnny climbed through the trap door at the top.

Bear in mind that the stage was still cloaked in darkness. In that setting, Carson delivered one of the best deadpan lines I have ever heard: "Nice place you've got here."

Carson was never seen. I have heard that it was because he was under contract to NBC and could not be seen on the other two networks (the Mary Tyler Moore Show was on CBS). I don't know if that was true, but I do know it was a very entertaining episode, aired just two weeks before the series' grand finale.

Doing What Is Right

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Even after a lifetime of observing human activity, it still surprises me at times to see how superficial our judgments really are.

Last year's elections provide the perfect example. This is not a new thing, but it seems that more people than usual are willing to believe the worst about those who voted differently than they did. The flip side is that they are just as willing to overlook the shortcomings in those who voted the same as they did.

This doesn't apply only to politics. It applies to everything else. People in general are more comfortable believing the best about those with whom they share certain characteristics — age, race, gender, faith, education — and the worst about those with whom they have less in common. But those kinds of characteristics are superficial, and it is a mistake to trust — or distrust — anyone solely on those factors.

I think that must have been the lesson of the episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show, "Some of My Best Friends Are Rhoda," that premiered on this night in 1972.

In the episode, Mary had been in a minor collision with a woman with whom she then struck up a friendship. They had been members of the same sorority — on different campuses but probably around the same time. They seemed to be about the same age.

When they came back to Mary's apartment, Rhoda (Valerie Harper) suggested that she and Mary play tennis. Mary's new friend picked up on that and suggested that Mary play with her. They agreed to do so.

Mary's relationship with this new friend really seemed to blossom, and Rhoda was getting jealous. She didn't try too hard to conceal it, either, although it's been my observation that people are more transparent than they think they are.

When Mary's friend wanted to find a fourth player for a doubles match at the tennis club, it was obvious fairly quickly that she did not want to invite Rhoda. She kept making excuses for not asking Rhoda to join them. Mary wanted to know why.

It turned out that the problem was that Rhoda was Jewish, and the tennis club didn't want Jews. Well, that was how Joanne presented it to Mary initially. But Joanne's true colors became clear.

Mary, a gentile, pretended to be Jewish. The instantaneous change in Joanne's facial expression spoke volumes.

So did the expression change on Joanne's face when, a minute later, Mary confessed that she was not Jewish after all.

"I knew that," an obviously relieved Joanne said. "Don't you think I knew that?"

"No," Mary replied. "I don't think you knew that. I think for a minute there you weren't sure — and it made a difference."

That was the end of their friendship, but Mary had stood for what she knew was right.

I seldom hear the episode mentioned, but it was a strong statement for its time — and one of the best Mary Tyler Moore Show episodes.