Saturday, January 20, 2018

Hello, Denial, My Old Friend



No one likes getting older, and most of us cling to denial and try to resist the inevitable as long as we can.

It is a losing proposition, of course.

I suppose there are some who shrug and accept the incessant march of time. They are probably the happiest of people, the ones who are more contented with the way things are than those who strive (or appear) to be forever young.

The latter takes a lot more effort. Besides, it is a fight that, ultimately, no one can win.

They say ignorance is bliss, and maybe that is true. In the long run, though, it really doesn't matter how one approaches aging. Time will always have its way. The sooner you reconcile yourself to that fact, the happier you will be.

That may have been at the heart of Archie's problem in the episode of All in the Family that aired on this night in 1973, "Oh Say Can You See." Archie (Carroll O'Connor) was resisting that aging thing. He clearly needed glasses, and his memory wasn't what it once was.

When Archie tried to read the paper and kept holding it farther and farther away, Mike (Rob Reiner) came up from behind and said, "Gettin' to be 'bout time to have your arms lengthened, huh, Arch?"

The conversation around the Bunker dinner table that evening wasn't settling too well with Archie. It was all about the aging issues he was trying to avoid so he made a beeline for the neighborhood bar — where he bumped into an old classmate (Larry Storch).

This classmate looked a lot younger. In fact, the bartender observed that Archie looked at least 10 years older. Maybe 15.

The whole age discussion led to some delightful dialogue exchanges — and not just at the neighborhood bar, either.

For example, when Mike talked about Madison Avenue selling people on a "phony youth culture," Gloria (Sally Struthers) observed that women were having all parts of their bodies lifted surgically to maintain their youthful appearances.

"Just last week in the paper," Gloria remarked, "a woman had her bottom lifted."

An incredulous Edith (Jean Stapleton) asked, "Wouldn't that make her too tall to sit down?"

Kudos to the writers — and now, back to the bar.

Archie bumped into his old friend again; this time he was meeting a young lady named Tina (Arlene Golonka) at the bar, and when Archie wanted to know his friend's secret for staying young, he told Archie that it was all about thinking young. That included acting young — pursuing much younger women.

Archie said he had heard that his friend was married, and his friend acknowledged that he was still married. He also contended that his extramarital flings were a favor to his wife because they kept him young for her. He found that incredibly amusing. Archie did not. But his friend did say some things that Archie found valuable.

He told Archie that he should be called Brad when Tina arrived. His real name was Bill, but Brad sounded younger. "Bill ain't got no pizzazz," he explained. "When people call you Brad, you feel like a Brad."

When Tina arrived and Archie's friend started to introduce them, Archie told Tina that his name was Greg.

Archie seemed impressed by — and a bit jealous of — Bill's success with young ladies until he had the opportunity to speak with Tina one on one, and he learned that the rendezvous was a business arrangement. Tina was a call girl. In those days I guess the popular term was escort.

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Does your mother know what you're doing?" Archie asked Tina.

"Yes, she does," Tina replied. "Does your mother know what you're doing?"

It was a real eye opener for Archie, and it made him appreciate what he had.