Henry (McLean Stevenson): Pierce, there is a war on!
Hawkeye (Alan Alda): Nothing gets by you, Henry.
Hawkeye (Alan Alda) was a superior surgeon to Frank (Larry Linville), but he was an inferior–grade officer, and that was a source of endless frustration for Frank.
Frank wouldn't concede that Hawkeye was better at anything, but it was easier for him to complain about Hawkeye from the perspective of military discipline. As a surgeon, Hawkeye sometimes had to bail Frank out when his ham–handed techniques made a patient's condition worse, but as a military man, Hawkeye seldom wore a uniform, never saluted superior officers and generally treated the Army with disdain.
In the episode of MASH that first aired on this night in 1973, "Sticky Wicket," Hawkeye's prowess as a surgeon came into question, and Frank clearly loved it, especially since Hawkeye had just told him, "I wouldn't let you operate on me for dandruff."
But then Hawkeye had a patient who continued to have problems after a long session in the O.R.
"What went wrong, Super Surgeon?" Frank asked Hawkeye. "Operating with one hand tied behind your back again?"
Hawkeye tried to silence Frank, but it didn't work.
"Last night I was Mr. Screwup, remember?" Frank persisted.
"Dr. Screwup," Hawkeye replied, "and it still goes."
"Oh, really?" Frank continued. "Well, I haven't killed anybody this week. What about you, big shot?"
The case was really getting under Hawkeye's skin. He was obsessing about it even as life at the 4077th went on as usual.
For example, in The Swamp, Trapper (Wayne Rogers) and Radar (Gary Burghoff) were involved in a poker game. Radar bluffed Trapper out of a pot, and the two exchanged words.
Hawkeye, who had been quietly contemplating the situation with his patient, became annoyed.
"Can't you guys do that somewhere else?" Hawkeye demanded.
"Why don't you do what you're doing somewhere else?" Trapper replied.
"I'm not doing anything," Hawkeye said.
"Well, you can do that anywhere, can't you?" Trapper asked.
So Hawkeye moved from The Swamp, and everyone came by for one reason or another — including Henry (McLean Stevenson), who told Hawkeye he was losing his perspective "because one patient has gone sour. In an outfit like this, that's bad."
He told Hawkeye to put off posturing as Dr. Perfect until he went home where he could be more selective about the patients he treated.
As Hawkeye reflected on things, though, an answer came to him. He operated on the patient in the dead of night and found what was causing the problem.
"Anybody could have missed that," said Frank, who had been observing the operation.
And the rift between them was patched up — until the next time Frank screwed up.
