Coach (Nicholas Colasanto): Damnedest thing. I've been shivering all the way over here.
Diane (Shelley Long): Well, Coach, you don't have a coat on. It's 30 degrees outside.
Coach: Oh, thank God. I thought I had malaria.
I often think what a shame it was that Nicholas Colasanto died only a few seasons into the lengthy run of Cheers!
As a result, many of the people who watched the show never knew Coach — just as many people who watched M*A*S*H never knew Henry Blake (McLean Stevenson).
Stevenson left M*A*S*H voluntarily but later said he regretted that decision.
Both departures were abrupt. Through nearly all of his last episode, Stevenson was believed to be going home (leaving open the possibility of future guest appearances) — until his airplane was reported shot down over the Sea of Japan in the episode's final minutes. Coach just died without any explanation being given.
And both departures brought replacements — Col. Potter on M*A*S*H and Woody on Cheers! — who are remembered and loved while their predecessors have mostly faded from memory.
The episode of Cheers! that first aired on this night in 1982, "Coach Returns to Action," provides an indication of what was lost.
For the benefit of those readers who missed the character entirely: Coach was a former baseball coach, and he had been Sam's coach before the series' timeline began. When the series premiered, Coach was retired from coaching, now a bartender for Sam (Ted Danson). He was rather slow and plodding but with the proverbial heart of gold.
As the episode opened, Coach was even more out to lunch than usual. An attractive young woman named Nina (Murphy Cross) had moved into his apartment building, and he had helped her with her furniture. In the process he had become smitten with her.
The thing that bugged Coach was the difference in their ages. It was never specified for the audience, but there was a quarter century between the ages of the actor and actress, and the audience could see there was an age gap when Nina visited the bar.
Diane (Shelley Long) encouraged him to ask her out. She also ran interference for Coach, trying to dissuade notorious ladies' man Sam from approaching her. Sam approached her anyway and kept getting shot down.
Meanwhile, Coach made a sincere attempt to invite Nina out to dinner, but she insisted she still had a lot of unpacking to do.
That was when Coach used a ruse to turn things around. I'd rather not spoil it for those who haven't seen it. Catch it on the DVD of Season 1 or on Netflix. You'll thank me for it.
This episode also had one of my favorite Cheers! dialogues that had nothing to do with the story but everything to do with the characters' personalities.
Diane wondered aloud why people drink cold beer in winter. Norm (George Wendt) turned to know–it–all Cliff (John Ratzenberger) and asked for an explanation.
"How do you know he has one?" Diane asked Norm.
"Five bucks says he does," Norm replied. "Ten bucks says it's a doozy."
They both looked at Cliff, who said, "When the British ruled the Punjab ..."
"Ten bucks all the way!" Norm said triumphantly.
