For those who are in love, whether they are married or not, Valentine's Day is perhaps the most important holiday on the calendar.
It may not be as lucrative for florists or candy makers or greeting card printers as it has been in more prosperous times — although, as I observed last year, even the recession didn't seem to dampen some people's enthusiasm and it may be that way this year as well — but it seems to me that, if ever there was a holiday when the old adage that "it's the thought that counts" should apply, Valentine's Day would be the one.
Expressions of true love come from the heart, not from the wallet.
Of course, money is no object if one is as prosperous as Niles Crane. And, while longtime watchers of Frasier could tell you that Niles' relationships with his first two wives lacked something (although, with both being independently affluent, those relationships certainly didn't lack money), his relationship with Daphne never lacked the most essential ingredient for a happy Valentine's Day — love.
And his money did give him the means to travel to England to try to reconcile Daphne's estranged parents — because he believed it would make her happy.
Certainly, money is important. But a relationship that relies only on money isn't much of a relationship, is it?
Personally, I found the relationship between Niles and Daphne to be wildly improbable, and I stopped watching the show for awhile. But I came back after I saw the episode that included the clip I have attached to this post.
Men and women have been so stereotyped over the years — men as unfeeling brutes who care only about satisfying their primal lusts, women as nags, shrews, harpies — that the scene appears to be contrary to the truth, but I believe it expresses a truth that is seldom acknowledged.
I believe that most men who are in love would make any sacrifice for the object of their affection, even fly halfway around the world, as Niles did, although most can't afford something like that. And I believe most men secretly wish the women they love would acknowledge their efforts as openly as Daphne did.
I'll admit, that is probably a little presumptuous on my part, but I do know this: If any woman ever spoke to me the way Daphne spoke to Niles, there would be nothing I would not want to do for her.
I still don't know how likely it is for a woman as beautiful as Daphne to fall in love with someone like Niles, although — in my mind, at least — it seems like a good argument for that old platitude, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
But love isn't really about beauty. It's about a connection between people.
I hope you are fortunate enough to have found that connection in your life.
And, if you have, I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day — in spite of the economy.
