The First Slapsgiving

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An ongoing holiday joke on How I Met Your Mother was born on this night in 2007 when the episode "Slapsgiving" first aired.

Nothing really new about that. Holidays are almost entirely about traditions, and those traditions frequently were started by those who continued to carry them out.

And so it was with this one, although there were several other things going on at the same time that tended to overlap with the holiday in typically How I Met Your Mother ways.

The tradition of the gang gathering for the holiday was initially the brainchild of Lily (Alyson Hannigan) who really wanted to celebrate her first Thanksgiving being married to Marshall (Jason Segel). Thus she wanted Robin (Cobie Smulders), Ted (Josh Radnor) and Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) to participate.

But there were complications.

Ted and Robin had been dating, but they broke up several months before Thanksgiving. In fact, by the time of Thanksgiving, Robin had started dating a man who was 41 but appeared to be much older to Ted (he kept seeing him as Orson Bean, who was nearly 80 when he appeared in this program).

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It's safe to say Ted and Robin had some post–relationship issues.

A different kind of issue was obsessing Marshall and Barney.

How I Met Your Mother followers will recall "the slap bet" Marshall and Barney made the season before. If you haven't seen that episode, you should. It will make a lot of things make sense. But the bottom line was that Marshall was awarded five slaps to administer to Barney whenever he wished.

And Marshall had decided to use one at Thanksgiving, going so far as to post a slap countdown on the computer. Marshall clearly got a lot of enjoyment from taunting Barney, who dissolved into a nervous wreck.

Compelled by circumstances, Robin and Ted talked about their relationship and how awkward it had been. As a couple, they had a personal joke in which, whenever someone used a phrase that was preceded by a military rank (i.e., "general chaos") they would salute and say, in unison, "General Chaos."

Since breaking up, that hadn't happened, even when rather obvious opportunities presented themselves.

At Thanksgiving dinner, Barney was such a wreck that Lily — the slap bet commissioner — ruled that there would be no slap on the holiday. Barney was immediately revived and began gloating — and refused to stop, even when Lily instructed him to stop so Lily reversed herself and told Marshall to go ahead with the slap. He complied.

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And Robin and Ted discovered that they could continue to be friends. When Bob used the phrase "major buzzkill," Robin and Ted saluted and said, "Major Buzzkill."

It was a well–written episode about life and love and all that stuff.

Putting Your Best Foot Forward

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"Frasier, if you overanalyze every detail, you will rob us of the joy of the moment. It will be our wedding night all over again."

Lilith (Bebe Neuwirth)

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In the Thanksgiving episode of Frasier that aired on this night in 1996, "A Lilith Thanksgiving," the Cranes were in Boston for Thanksgiving — but only because the headmaster of an exclusive school had agreed to meet with Lilith and Frasier on Thanksgiving morning, and they were eager to have their son Frederick admitted to the school.

Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) and Lilith (Bebe Neuwirth) made a reasonably good impression when they first went to meet with the headmaster — but afterward they began to second–guess everything they had said and done and made return visits to try to amend what had transpired before.

The first time they did this, they returned to the headmaster's home on a ruse — Lilith would pretend that she had lost an earring when they were there before. Once they were there, Lilith felt compelled to embellish the story, telling the headmaster that the earrings were treasured gifts from Golda Meir.

Then she found herself in the position of having to elaborate on that when the headmaster asked her how she met Mrs. Meir.

Lilith told the headmaster that was an interesting story, then she rather clumsily passed that baton to Frasier, saying, "Frasier, you tell it much better than I do."

And Frasier indulged himself in a little ad–libbing of his own, saying they had met through Mrs. Meir's grandson, "Oscar."

"That would be Oscar Meir?" the headmaster inquired.

"You can imagine the ribbing he got!" Frasier replied.

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Frasier and Lilith were nothing if not obsessive. In that regard they were perfect partners.

They kept returning to the headmaster's house each time they thought of something else they should do to reinforce their interest in the school. They were concerned that Frederick might not get the only available slot, that it might go to the child of an alumnus or a generous benefactor.

That was not foremost in the headmaster's mind, though. He was trying to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for some guests, but it wasn't coming along well, and the near–constant interruptions weren't helping.

Under this circumstance, Lilith and Frasier decided to made their bid to be the headmaster's holiday benefactors.

After the headmaster observed that his turkey was so undercooked "a skilled veterinarian could still save him," Lilith and Frasier returned to Lilith's home and took the turkey that Niles (David Hyde Pierce) had been cooking in their absence so they could give it to the headmaster to curry favor with him.

In essence, they wore down the headmaster, who finally told them that Frederick was admitted — but he would be immediately expelled if either Lilith or Frasier ever came to the school for any reason or attended any school events, including graduation.

Lilith and Frasier agreed, of course. For them, the holiday had been a success.

Niles, meanwhile, was still looking for the turkey that had vanished into thin air.

A High Old Time

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As a general rule, I don't usually care for Christmas episodes of TV series.

They tend to be too sugary for my taste.

But the holiday episodes of the Frasier series always fell into a different category for me, and the one that premiered 10 years ago tonight, in the final season of the Frasier series, is an excellent example.

The series was about midway through its final season, and, frankly, I thought many of the episodes that season were contrived. But, in many ways, the episode that aired 10 years ago tonight rang true for me.

It was about teenage rebellion.

The contemporary story was about Frasier's son, Frederick (Trevor Einhorn), who arrived for the holidays sporting a new look — goth — which was disappointing for Frasier because he had been discouraged by his life recently and had been looking forward to spending time with his son. Then Freddy showed up wearing clothes inspired by a goth girlfriend, and Frasier concluded that it was characteristic of teenage rebellion.

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This, in turn, inspired a dialogue among the adults about teenage rebellion and what they had done to rebel as teenagers. During the conversation, Martin (John Mahoney) observed that mild–mannered and fussy Niles (David Hyde Pierce) never rebelled — which wasn't really true. Earlier in the series, it was mentioned that Niles once "mooned" President Nixon.

But that wasn't mentioned in this episode. Instead, it was accepted by everyone — including Niles — that he had never rebelled, and that set him on a mission to finally rebel. Better late than never.

Niles decided that the way to rebel was to consume some marijuana ("reefer," as he called it), and Roz (Peri Gilpin) set him up with a pot brownie made by her neighbor. When Niles told Frasier what he was going to do, that he had decided to throw caution to the wind and indulge in "one act of utter, devil–may–care, crotch–grabbing brazenness," he added this: "And, of course, I'll have a nurse on speed–dial in case things get too hairy."

Just as Roz was delivering the brownie to Niles at the cafe, his car alarm went off and neither he nor Frasier could stay. As they left, Martin arrived and Roz gave the brownie to him to give to Niles. Martin was trying to cut down on junk food, but the sight of the brownie was just too tempting so he ate it.

Martin didn't realize, of course, that the brownie was spiked with marijuana, but he did know he had to replace the brownie before Niles returned to the cafe so he got in line to buy an ordinary brownie, purchasing it just in time to slip it into the aluminum foil in which the original had been wrapped before Niles came back to the cafe.

Martin gave the normal brownie to an unsuspecting Niles, who left the cafe under the watchful (though equally unsuspecting) eyes of two police officers.

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Niles and Martin encountered each other later. Niles had consumed the normal brownie by that time and was imagining all kinds of psychological effects he was experiencing. (Earlier, he had spoken of the things he expected to experience. "I'm especially looking forward to something called the 'munchies' stage," Niles confided to Frasier. "It's where one enjoys bizarre food combinations. ... I'm thinking of pairing this Chilean sea bass with an aggressive Zinfandel!")

His father, meanwhile, was experiencing the real thing — but didn't realize it. He was having his own munchies and told Niles he would soon be thanking his father for "turning you on to the best thing you will ever eat: barbecue pudding chips!" When Niles declined, Martin said, "They looked at me funny in the store, too, but you taste that and tell me that's not better than a woman."

Niles was despondent when he learned the truth — that he had eaten a normal brownie and hadn't really rebelled — but he was cheered somewhat when Frasier said to him, "You're a good man, Niles. In a way, isn't that rebelling against rebellion?"

Niles smiled and said, "Nice try."

"All right, look at it this way," Frasier replied. "You did get our cop father stoned tonight."

Happy holidays.

Staying Out of the Draft

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When I was growing up, there was probably no other issue that drove as many wedges between friends and relatives as the war in Vietnam.

It was the time of the infamous "generation gap," and you can trust me when I tell you that was no exaggeration. There really was a gap between the generations in those days. Most people above a certain age bought the whole "domino theory" argument and believed containing communism in southeast Asia was critical to our survival, and most people below a certain age thought it was rubbish and that they were being sent to die for nothing.

There were exceptions to both rules, of course. It was hardly unanimous. There were older people who opposed the war, and there were younger people who supported it.

And there were other issues that ripped people apart, of course — race, sex, religion.

But that's business as usual, isn't it? Humans have been dealing with those issues since time began. The real dividing line in America in those days was the war. It was bigger than anything else, and it played a prominent role in every aspect of American life, even its entertainment.

During the war — and for years after U.S. involvement ended — Vietnam was like this open, bleeding wound in American life that no one would even mention, much less treat. It never really surprised me that the Vietnam vets suffered as much as they did after they returned. They were treated as pariahs, blamed for a long and painful war for which they were not responsible.

It must have been especially shocking for any vets who fantasized about being greeted the way their fathers and uncles were welcomed home after World War II.

Those who avoided military service by going to Canada were treated no better. They may have been motivated by principle, but they were treated as cowards. That was some choice. If you went to Vietnam, you were spat upon when you came home. And if you avoided going to Vietnam, ostensibly because you felt the same way about the war as those who spat on the vets, you were spat upon when you came home — if you did.

Coming home, even briefly, from Canada when you were a fugitive from justice meant exposing yourself to the possibility of arrest, trial and conviction.

American television rarely dealt as directly and honestly with the war and the devastating effect it had on people as it did 35 years ago tonight in a holiday episode of All in the Family.

All in the Family didn't always have a holiday–oriented episode, but it was a groundbreaking series from the beginning so, when it did have a holiday episode, it was typically thought provoking.

It was Christmas Day in the Bunker home, and two special guests were there to share Christmas dinner — Pinky (Eugene Roche), Archie's friend who lost his son in Vietnam, and David (Renny Temple), Mike's friend who dodged the draft and was living in Canada.

Archie (Carroll O'Connor) wasn't supposed to know that David was a draft dodger, and the rest of the family did a pretty good job of concealing it from him — but David himself finally spilled the beans.

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Archie: What the hell ya got in Canada that you ain't got here? ... Huh? What's the answer?

David: Freedom.

Archie: Did you say 'freedom?' "

David: Yes, sir. Freedom.

Archie: Come on, will ya? You got more freedom in the U.S. of A. than you got any place else in the world. This here is the land of the free. Didn't you never hear of that?

David: Mr. Bunker, for some of us, America is not free.

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This exchange bewildered Archie, as I am sure it bewildered countless Archie types all across the country in those days.

It angered him, too — and I'm equally sure that it angered the Archies in America.

Their belief system could be summed up in a bumper sticker — "America: Love it or leave it."

That belief system was being challenged. And Archie was in full defense mode.

But, in a finish that neatly emphasized the spirit of Christmas, Pinky, the Gold Star father, accepted David the draft dodger.

"I understand how you feel, Arch," Pinky said. "My kid hated the war, too, but he did what he thought he had to do, and David here did what he thought he had to do. But David's alive to share Christmas dinner with us. And if Steve were here, he'd want to sit down with him, and that's what I want to do."

Such an act of generosity surely was in the best tradition of O. Henry.

A Lilith Thanksgiving

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I always enjoyed the Thanksgiving episode of the Frasier series that aired 15 years ago tonight.

I don't always enjoy holiday episodes, but I liked the ones on Frasier. They were always entertaining and creative, not sappy and sentimental like so many other holidays episodes I have seen over the years.

Anyway, on this day, the Cranes were planning a family Thanksgiving in Seattle. Lilith and her son, Frederick, were coming to town. But, at the last minute, the plans changed. On Thanksgiving morning, Lilith and Frasier had to meet with the headmaster of a prestigious school where they had submitted their son's application — so Frasier, Niles and Martin had to fly to Boston.

The first meeting with the headmaster went poorly, and Lilith and Frasier went back on the pretense of looking for an earring that Lilith would claim she had lost. Once they were inside the headmaster's house again, they would renew and intensify their pitch on behalf of their son.

"I wouldn't even think of asking [to come in to look]," Lilith told the headmaster, "but it was a treasured gift from ... Golda Meir."

When the headmaster left the room, Frasier protested that Golda Meir was not one of the details upon which they had agreed. "It got us in," Lilith replied.

But, when he returned to the room, the headmaster had a curveball of his own. "I've always been a great admirer of Mrs. Meir," he said. "How did you meet?"

So Lilith had to ad lib some more, but she just couldn't — so she passed the baton to a somewhat startled Frasier. "It was back in college days," Frasier said. "Lilith spent a summer at a kibbutz and was dating her grandson, Oscar."

The headmaster wasn't finished. "That would be Oscar Meir?"

"Just imagine the ribbing he took!" Frasier replied with a little artful ad libbing of his own.

I always thought that was an especially funny piece of comedic dialogue — in an episode that seemed to be full of them.

Most such snappy exchanges occurred when Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) and Lilith (Bebe Neuwirth) were talking with the headmaster (Paxton Whitehead), but there were others.

For example ...

When the Cranes had to change their holiday plans so Frasier could be in Boston to join Lilith for the meeting with the headmaster, Frasier talked Roz (Peri Gilpin) into looking after his apartment while he was gone. But he had a few ground rules.

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Frasier: By the way, I frown on overnight guests.

Roz: Then you're not doing it right.

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Getting out of Seattle for the holiday probably wasn't a bad idea, at least in Niles' case. He was going through his first Thanksgiving since his separation from his wife, and a change of scenery probably did him some good, even though it was a last–minute decision to shift everything to Boston.

Yep, it was completely understandable that Niles was having a rough time.

After all, it isn't uncommon, around Thanksgiving and Christmas, for people to be at least a bit despondent over separation, either temporary or permanent, from loved ones, but Niles may have been a little too nostalgic.

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Martin: What's wrong?

Niles: Oh, just a little depressed. It's my first Thanksgiving without Maris.

Martin: Oh, yeah, I know, son. It's hard.

Niles: Do you remember the year I plopped that big wedge of pumpkin pie in front of her, and we all laughed? Then I put a big scoop of whipped cream on top of it and we laughed some more! Then her eyes welled up with tears and we all knew it was time to stop.

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That one might qualify to be one of Jack Handey's "Deep Thoughts."

Once the Cranes were in Boston, though, Niles — who, as previous and subsequent episodes indicated, was a pretty good cook — took it upon himself to finish preparing the family's Thanksgiving dinner so Frasier and Lilith could make their appeal to the headmaster.

He still managed to work in some zingers at Lilith's expense, though — and found that Lilith could give as good as she got.

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Lilith: I'm nearly done defrosting.

Niles: And the turkey?

Lilith: Might I suggest you stuff it?

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I especially liked the frustrated headmaster's speech at the end of the episode.

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"I will die a happy man if I never set eyes on either of you again. Unfortunately, there is only way I know of to ensure that. Your son Frederick is hereby admitted to the Marbury School. However, he will be immediately expelled if either of you violates any of the following conditions:

• "You will not bring him to school.


• "You will not collect him.


• "You will not attend any recitals, plays, sporting events or school functions — up to and including Frederick Crane Day, should we ever have one.


• "And when graduation comes, you will dispatch an appropriate envoy with a video camera.

"And now it is with great pleasure that I bid you goodbye forever."

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Instead of being insulted after being hustled out the door, Lilith and Frasier only smiled at each other with satisfaction and said in unison, "We're in."

I guess what makes Thanksgiving happy depends on one's priorities and desires — whether one wants a certain kind of stuffing or a certain kind of pie for dessert — or to be sure one's child is enrolled in the most elite school around.