Showing posts with label Arlene Golonka. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Arlene Golonka. Show all posts
Saturday, January 20, 2018
Hello, Denial, My Old Friend
No one likes getting older, and most of us cling to denial and try to resist the inevitable as long as we can.
It is a losing proposition, of course.
I suppose there are some who shrug and accept the incessant march of time. They are probably the happiest of people, the ones who are more contented with the way things are than those who strive (or appear) to be forever young.
The latter takes a lot more effort. Besides, it is a fight that, ultimately, no one can win.
They say ignorance is bliss, and maybe that is true. In the long run, though, it really doesn't matter how one approaches aging. Time will always have its way. The sooner you reconcile yourself to that fact, the happier you will be.
That may have been at the heart of Archie's problem in the episode of All in the Family that aired on this night in 1973, "Oh Say Can You See." Archie (Carroll O'Connor) was resisting that aging thing. He clearly needed glasses, and his memory wasn't what it once was.
When Archie tried to read the paper and kept holding it farther and farther away, Mike (Rob Reiner) came up from behind and said, "Gettin' to be 'bout time to have your arms lengthened, huh, Arch?"
The conversation around the Bunker dinner table that evening wasn't settling too well with Archie. It was all about the aging issues he was trying to avoid so he made a beeline for the neighborhood bar — where he bumped into an old classmate (Larry Storch).
This classmate looked a lot younger. In fact, the bartender observed that Archie looked at least 10 years older. Maybe 15.
The whole age discussion led to some delightful dialogue exchanges — and not just at the neighborhood bar, either.
For example, when Mike talked about Madison Avenue selling people on a "phony youth culture," Gloria (Sally Struthers) observed that women were having all parts of their bodies lifted surgically to maintain their youthful appearances.
"Just last week in the paper," Gloria remarked, "a woman had her bottom lifted."
An incredulous Edith (Jean Stapleton) asked, "Wouldn't that make her too tall to sit down?"
Kudos to the writers — and now, back to the bar.
Archie bumped into his old friend again; this time he was meeting a young lady named Tina (Arlene Golonka) at the bar, and when Archie wanted to know his friend's secret for staying young, he told Archie that it was all about thinking young. That included acting young — pursuing much younger women.
Archie said he had heard that his friend was married, and his friend acknowledged that he was still married. He also contended that his extramarital flings were a favor to his wife because they kept him young for her. He found that incredibly amusing. Archie did not. But his friend did say some things that Archie found valuable.
He told Archie that he should be called Brad when Tina arrived. His real name was Bill, but Brad sounded younger. "Bill ain't got no pizzazz," he explained. "When people call you Brad, you feel like a Brad."
When Tina arrived and Archie's friend started to introduce them, Archie told Tina that his name was Greg.
Archie seemed impressed by — and a bit jealous of — Bill's success with young ladies until he had the opportunity to speak with Tina one on one, and he learned that the rendezvous was a business arrangement. Tina was a call girl. In those days I guess the popular term was escort.
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Does your mother know what you're doing?" Archie asked Tina.
"Yes, she does," Tina replied. "Does your mother know what you're doing?"
It was a real eye opener for Archie, and it made him appreciate what he had.
Sunday, December 24, 2017
Unlucky in Love
Hawkeye (Alan Alda): Edwina, may I kiss you?
Edwina (Arlene Golonka): Is your mouth insured?
Actress Arlene Golonka made something of a career playing bubbly girl–next–door types on TV and in the movies.
She appeared on the most popular TV shows of her day and might have been America's sweetheart if not for the fact that the competition for that designation was rather strong at the time. I always thought she was cute and that she should have no trouble attracting attention from the opposite sex, but she never seemed to rise above supporting roles.
In the episode of MASH that aired on Christmas Eve 1972, "Edwina," Golonka played what is best described as a female version of Joe Btfsplk from the Li'l Abner comic strip. If you're too young to remember Li'l Abner, Joe Btfsplk was such a jinx that an ominous dark cloud followed him wherever he went.
Edwina, Golonka's character, was a female Joe Btfsplk. She was, to put it kindly, a klutz — impossibly inept and thoroughly unable to get a date, let alone a relationship. Her woeful love life was the basis of a heart–to–heart she had with Margie (Marcia Strassman in one of her last appearances on MASH) on the occasion of Edwina's birthday, and the outcome was a kind of boycott. None of the females in camp would have anything to do with the males (outside the O.R., of course) until one of them went out with Edwina.
This prompted something of a crisis among the males at the 4077th, and it was decided that someone had to take a bullet for the team. It was determined that the fair way to make this decision would be to draw straws to designate Edwina's date. Not participating was not an option; the penalty for nonparticipation was, in Hawkeye's words, to be "stripped naked, painted purple and dropped by helicopter behind enemy lines."
(In today's environment, such a condescending, politically incorrect approach to male–female relationships most likely would be frowned upon.)
Perhaps inevitably Hawkeye (Alan Alda), the 4077th's legendary Lothario, drew the short straw.
And he did try — boy, did he try — but his date with Edwina was a disaster by anyone's standards.
It was just one thing after another.
At first Hawkeye tried to put the best spin possible on everything. When Edwina tossed her martini glass while trying to think of a toast and spilled her drink on Hawkeye, he insisted that he liked wearing a wet T–shirt because it saved him the trouble of sweating.
But after a series of mishaps — most notably including broken glass and Hawkeye stepping on it in bare feet — Edwina lamented that she had "killed" him. Hawkeye protested, "I don't have that kind of luck."
In the process, though, Hawkeye may have found the root of Edwina's problem. Hawkeye concluded that, in a subconscious attempt to avoid getting hurt, Edwina was physically hurting others — to summarize Hawkeye, she was beating others to the hurt. Edwina seemed to be liberated by this revelation — and in her exuberance, she dislodged the stovepipe in the tent, covering Hawkeye in soot.
Far from being upset, Hawkeye began laughing uncontrollably.
Well, nothing lasts forever. Edwina's time at the 4077th came to an end shortly thereafter, and she was never seen in the compound again.
Golonka went on to other TV and film roles.
Labels:
1972,
Alan Alda,
Arlene Golonka,
Edwina,
episode,
Li'l Abner,
Marcia Strassman,
MASH,
sitcom,
TV
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